algorithms
Original: algorithms on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A woman with brown hair and glasses sits at a computer, speaking into it.
Woman: "Hey, Amazon, I'd like to [buy] some ethanol and a monthly subscription to ro[dent] traps containing hydramethyln[on]."
Panel 2: Close on the woman at her keyboard.
Woman: "Please mix various common items in with each purchase."
Panel 3: The woman's hands at the keyboard.
Caption banner: "LATER..."
Panel 4: A red-haired man sits in an armchair, calling out to the woman (now seen in close-up wearing her glasses).
Man (from the chair): "Honey, how come Amazon recommends no-fingerprint gloves and plane tickets to nations with weak extradition laws?"
Panel 5: Extreme close-up of the woman, eyes wide, hand to her mouth.
Woman: "How very odd."
Bottom caption: "THIS COMIC BROUGHT TO YOU BY BUYERS OF SOONISH. CLICK FOR MORE INFORMATION."
Votey:
A roughly sketched, sweating bearded man.
Off-panel voice (the woman): "Did you order a book on how to poison redheads?"
Bearded man: "One book? No..."
Woman: "Hey, Amazon, I'd like to [buy] some ethanol and a monthly subscription to ro[dent] traps containing hydramethyln[on]."
Panel 2: Close on the woman at her keyboard.
Woman: "Please mix various common items in with each purchase."
Panel 3: The woman's hands at the keyboard.
Caption banner: "LATER..."
Panel 4: A red-haired man sits in an armchair, calling out to the woman (now seen in close-up wearing her glasses).
Man (from the chair): "Honey, how come Amazon recommends no-fingerprint gloves and plane tickets to nations with weak extradition laws?"
Panel 5: Extreme close-up of the woman, eyes wide, hand to her mouth.
Woman: "How very odd."
Bottom caption: "THIS COMIC BROUGHT TO YOU BY BUYERS OF SOONISH. CLICK FOR MORE INFORMATION."
Votey:
A roughly sketched, sweating bearded man.
Off-panel voice (the woman): "Did you order a book on how to poison redheads?"
Bearded man: "One book? No..."
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic plus a votey. In the first panels a brown-haired woman in glasses speaks into her computer, ordering ethanol and a monthly subscription to rodent traps containing the insecticide hydramethylnon, and asks Amazon to "mix various common items in with each purchase" to disguise the order. A caption reads "Later..." In the next panel a red-haired man relaxing in an armchair calls out, "Honey, how come Amazon recommends no-fingerprint gloves and plane tickets to nations with weak extradition laws?" The final panel is an extreme close-up of the woman, eyes wide and hand to her mouth, replying with feigned innocence, "How very odd." The joke: Amazon's recommendation engine has helpfully connected the dots that she is plotting to murder her partner. A bottom caption reads "This comic brought to you by buyers of SOONISH." The votey shows a crudely drawn, nervously sweating bearded redheaded man; an off-panel voice asks, "Did you order a book on how to poison redheads?" and he answers, "One book? No..." implying he ordered more than one and that he is plotting the same against her.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.