cranium
Original: cranium on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A bespectacled man in a suit and tie speaks.
Man: Humans evolved larger crania to make tools.
Panel 2: A different bespectacled man speaks.
Man: Humans evolved larger crania to share information while hunting.
Panel 3: A bespectacled woman speaks.
Woman: Humans evolved larger crania to accrue mates within complex social groups.
Panel 4: Caption box reads "TWO MILLION YEARS AGO". An early hominid/ape figure holds a stick.
Hominid: Me balance biggest stick on forehead.
Hominid: Cool. Make babies.
Votey: A close-up of the same hominid's face in profile, eyes half-closed in concentration, balancing the stick on its forehead.
Hominid: Am busy with stick, okay?
Man: Humans evolved larger crania to make tools.
Panel 2: A different bespectacled man speaks.
Man: Humans evolved larger crania to share information while hunting.
Panel 3: A bespectacled woman speaks.
Woman: Humans evolved larger crania to accrue mates within complex social groups.
Panel 4: Caption box reads "TWO MILLION YEARS AGO". An early hominid/ape figure holds a stick.
Hominid: Me balance biggest stick on forehead.
Hominid: Cool. Make babies.
Votey: A close-up of the same hominid's face in profile, eyes half-closed in concentration, balancing the stick on its forehead.
Hominid: Am busy with stick, okay?
Alt text
A four-panel comic. In the first three panels, three different bespectacled academic-looking people each confidently give a grand theory of why humans evolved larger brains: to make tools, to share information while hunting, and to accrue mates within complex social groups. The fourth panel cuts to a caption reading "TWO MILLION YEARS AGO," showing an early hominid holding a stick who says "Me balance biggest stick on forehead" and then "Cool. Make babies" -- deflating all the lofty theories with a goofy real motivation. Votey: a close-up of the hominid's face in profile, concentrating with eyes half-shut while balancing the stick on its forehead, saying "Am busy with stick, okay?"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.