naughty-2
Original: naughty-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Child: Daddy, how come you say Santa is real, but all the gifts are from you and Mom?
Panel 2:
Father (mustached man with glasses): Santa only gives gifts to kids who aren't naughty. But his puritanical standards mean nobody makes the cut.
Panel 3:
Child (looking guilty): But I was good!
Father: Do you ever touch your weiner when you pee, Johnny?
Child: ...maybe.
Father: Annnnd Santa's not coming.
Votey:
Extreme close-up of the father's face, focusing on his nose and mustache.
Child: Daddy, how come you say Santa is real, but all the gifts are from you and Mom?
Panel 2:
Father (mustached man with glasses): Santa only gives gifts to kids who aren't naughty. But his puritanical standards mean nobody makes the cut.
Panel 3:
Child (looking guilty): But I was good!
Father: Do you ever touch your weiner when you pee, Johnny?
Child: ...maybe.
Father: Annnnd Santa's not coming.
Votey:
Extreme close-up of the father's face, focusing on his nose and mustache.
Alt text
A three-panel SMBC comic. In panel 1, a child standing by a window asks his mustached, bespectacled father, "Daddy, how come you say Santa is real, but all the gifts are from you and Mom?" In panel 2, the smiling father explains that Santa only gives gifts to kids who aren't naughty, but his puritanical standards mean nobody ever makes the cut. In panel 3, beside a fireplace, the child protests "But I was good!" The father asks whether he ever touches his weiner when he pees; the child admits "...maybe," and the father concludes that Santa isn't coming. The votey aftercomic is an extreme close-up of the father's nose and mustache, lingering on his deadpan expression.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.