apes
Original: apes on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Green alien: I'm sorry. We can't make humans part of the league of sapient species. You're inherently violent.
Panel 2:
Red-haired man: That's not true!
Green alien: Then explain the whole Hitler thing.
Panel 3:
Red-haired man: Hitler was a particular, unusually bad man! Sure, history is replete with people like him, but they've become rarer over time as humanity has improved itself!
Panel 4:
Green alien: No, I mean the thing where you all want to travel back in time to kill him.
Red-haired man: Yeah. That's true. So what?
Panel 5:
Green alien: How come nobody ever wants to time travel to give his mother a headache on the day he was conceived?
Panel 6:
The red-haired man stands silent.
Panel 7:
The red-haired man puts a hand to his chin, thinking.
Panel 8:
Green alien: You're thinking of killing me, aren't you?
Red-haired man: A little, yeah.
Votey:
A close-up of a face, smiling, with a hand raised. Speech bubble: Just a weeeee little murder...
Green alien: I'm sorry. We can't make humans part of the league of sapient species. You're inherently violent.
Panel 2:
Red-haired man: That's not true!
Green alien: Then explain the whole Hitler thing.
Panel 3:
Red-haired man: Hitler was a particular, unusually bad man! Sure, history is replete with people like him, but they've become rarer over time as humanity has improved itself!
Panel 4:
Green alien: No, I mean the thing where you all want to travel back in time to kill him.
Red-haired man: Yeah. That's true. So what?
Panel 5:
Green alien: How come nobody ever wants to time travel to give his mother a headache on the day he was conceived?
Panel 6:
The red-haired man stands silent.
Panel 7:
The red-haired man puts a hand to his chin, thinking.
Panel 8:
Green alien: You're thinking of killing me, aren't you?
Red-haired man: A little, yeah.
Votey:
A close-up of a face, smiling, with a hand raised. Speech bubble: Just a weeeee little murder...
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. A green alien tells a red-haired man that humanity can't join the league of sapient species because humans are inherently violent. The man objects; the alien says, 'Then explain the whole Hitler thing.' The man argues Hitler was an unusually bad man and that people like him have grown rarer as humanity improved. The alien clarifies it means the way humans all want to time travel back to kill Hitler. The man agrees and asks 'So what?' The alien asks why nobody ever wants to time travel to give Hitler's mother a headache on the day he was conceived (a nonviolent way to prevent his birth). The man falls silent, then puts a hand to his chin in thought. The alien says, 'You're thinking of killing me, aren't you?' and the man replies, 'A little, yeah.' Votey: a close-up of a smiling face with a raised hand saying, 'Just a weeeee little murder...'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.