wishing-well
Original: wishing-well on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Old man (Tom): When I was a boy, I would toss pennies in the wishing well, and my wish would always come true. Now that I'm older... it doesn't seem to work any more.
Panel 2:
Woman: The last time you were a kid was 50 years ago, at a three percent rate of inflation. Each penny has lost four-fifths of its value.
Panel 3:
Woman: Plus, when you were a kid, you wished for candy bars and toys. Now, you're asking for world peace and cures for cancer.
Panel 4:
Woman: You're giving a fraction of what you used to, demanding infinitely more, and you're surprised when you don't get what you want!
Panel 5:
Old man (Tom): I was trying to share a moment of contemplat--
Woman (interrupting): You are garbage, Tom!
Votey:
A voice from off-panel (Tom, leaning into the wishing well): Gimme stock options!
Old man (Tom): When I was a boy, I would toss pennies in the wishing well, and my wish would always come true. Now that I'm older... it doesn't seem to work any more.
Panel 2:
Woman: The last time you were a kid was 50 years ago, at a three percent rate of inflation. Each penny has lost four-fifths of its value.
Panel 3:
Woman: Plus, when you were a kid, you wished for candy bars and toys. Now, you're asking for world peace and cures for cancer.
Panel 4:
Woman: You're giving a fraction of what you used to, demanding infinitely more, and you're surprised when you don't get what you want!
Panel 5:
Old man (Tom): I was trying to share a moment of contemplat--
Woman (interrupting): You are garbage, Tom!
Votey:
A voice from off-panel (Tom, leaning into the wishing well): Gimme stock options!
Alt text
A five-panel comic. An elderly man in a suit stands beside a stone wishing well in a grassy field, talking to a blonde woman. He says he used to toss pennies in the well as a boy and his wishes always came true, but now that he's older it doesn't work anymore. The woman explains, in increasingly exasperated tones, that the last time he was a kid was 50 years ago and at three percent inflation each penny has lost four-fifths of its value; plus, as a kid he wished for candy bars and toys, whereas now he asks for world peace and cures for cancer. She concludes that he's giving a fraction of what he used to while demanding infinitely more, so of course it doesn't work. When the man begins, 'I was trying to share a moment of contemplat--', she cuts him off: 'You are garbage, Tom!' In the votey (aftercomic), a close-up of the stone well shows a speech bubble from the man, now leaning into it, calling out: 'Gimme stock options!'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.