choose
Original: choose on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A bald man in dark robes (a Sith-lord-like figure) addresses a woman.
Man: Now, Mrs. Sanderson... one of your children will live. If you choose one of them... to die.
Panel 2: A young red-haired boy reacts in alarm.
Boy: WHAT?!
Panel 3: The man, with two young children standing beside him.
Man: Frankie. Frankie dies.
Panel 4: The red-haired boy, furious.
Boy: Whose macaroni and cheese tastes like ass now?! HUH?!
Panel 5: A woman gestures emphatically.
Woman: I guess I'll just work two jobs, keep house and make gourmet cuisine for your majesty!
Woman (cont.): Because a microwave cheddar on overcooked noodles!
Panel 6: The man (with greenish hair) points accusingly at the woman.
Man: Proper cheese sauce is sooooo hard to make!
Panel 7: The bald robed man and the red-haired boy talk quietly.
Boy: I hate fighting.
Boy: Is it always like this?
Man: Pretty much, since dad left.
Panel 8: The bald robed man and the boy stand in a domestic setting.
Man: Ugh. This is awful. Are there any nicer families on your block?
Boy: The Jenkins' are pretty straight-laced.
Panel 9: A small scene of figures from a distance.
Panel 10: LATER... The bald robed man addresses the family again.
Man: LATER... And you must choose one of them... to die.
Panel 11: A woman screams in anguish.
Woman: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Panel 12: The bald robed man, satisfied.
Man: See, that is what family is SUPPOSED to be like.
Votey:
A large bald man's face, looking thoughtful.
Man: I should find a wife and settle down.
Man: Now, Mrs. Sanderson... one of your children will live. If you choose one of them... to die.
Panel 2: A young red-haired boy reacts in alarm.
Boy: WHAT?!
Panel 3: The man, with two young children standing beside him.
Man: Frankie. Frankie dies.
Panel 4: The red-haired boy, furious.
Boy: Whose macaroni and cheese tastes like ass now?! HUH?!
Panel 5: A woman gestures emphatically.
Woman: I guess I'll just work two jobs, keep house and make gourmet cuisine for your majesty!
Woman (cont.): Because a microwave cheddar on overcooked noodles!
Panel 6: The man (with greenish hair) points accusingly at the woman.
Man: Proper cheese sauce is sooooo hard to make!
Panel 7: The bald robed man and the red-haired boy talk quietly.
Boy: I hate fighting.
Boy: Is it always like this?
Man: Pretty much, since dad left.
Panel 8: The bald robed man and the boy stand in a domestic setting.
Man: Ugh. This is awful. Are there any nicer families on your block?
Boy: The Jenkins' are pretty straight-laced.
Panel 9: A small scene of figures from a distance.
Panel 10: LATER... The bald robed man addresses the family again.
Man: LATER... And you must choose one of them... to die.
Panel 11: A woman screams in anguish.
Woman: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Panel 12: The bald robed man, satisfied.
Man: See, that is what family is SUPPOSED to be like.
Votey:
A large bald man's face, looking thoughtful.
Man: I should find a wife and settle down.
Alt text
A multi-panel SMBC comic. A bald, dark-robed Sith-lord-like villain confronts a family, telling Mrs. Sanderson that one of her children will live if she chooses one to die. Instead of grief, the family erupts into a petty, bickering argument: a red-haired boy snaps 'Whose macaroni and cheese tastes like ass now?!' and the mother sarcastically rants about working two jobs and making gourmet cheese sauce, while the father whines that 'Proper cheese sauce is sooooo hard to make!' The villain, dismayed by the dysfunction, quietly asks the boy if there are any nicer families on the block; the boy suggests the straight-laced Jenkins family. LATER, the villain delivers the same ultimatum to the Jenkins family, who react with proper anguished screaming ('NOOOOOOOOOOOO!'). The villain, satisfied, says 'See, that is what family is SUPPOSED to be like.' Votey: A close-up of the bald villain's face as he muses, 'I should find a wife and settle down.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.