bioreaction
Original: bioreaction on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman: HONEY! I HAVE A SURPRISE!
Man: OOH...
Panel 2:
Woman: IT'S NOW POSSIBLE TO CREATE MEAT PRODUCTS DERIVED FROM CELL LINES IN A BIOREACTOR. WE CAN GET MEAT WITHOUT THE ANIMAL!
Man: SO MUCH MORE HUMANE.
Panel 3:
Woman: THAT'S A SMALL BENEFIT. THE REAL CHANGE COMES FROM ITS PSYCHOLOGICAL VALUE.
Panel 4:
Man: I DON'T FOLLOW.
Woman: YOU KNOW HOW WE HAVEN'T HAD A FIGHT IN A LONG TIME?
Man: YEAH.
Panel 5:
Woman: SIX MONTHS AGO, I PUT SOME OF YOUR CELLS IN A BIOREACTOR!
Man: OKAY...
Panel 6:
Woman: NOW, EVERY TIME I'M MAD AT YOU, INSTEAD OF BLOWING UP I JUST USE YOUR CELL LINE TO MAKE A STEAK, AND THEN I EAT IT!
Panel 7:
Woman: IT'S LIKE REVENGE WITHOUT THE MURDER!
Panel 8:
Woman: SUDDENLY THE FACT THAT YOU'VE PUT ON WEIGHT RECENTLY IS INCREDIBLY CREEPY.
Panel 9:
(The man stares, unsettled.)
Panel 10:
Woman (running off): IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME I NEED TO GO MAKE TACOS
Man (chasing after her): STOP!
Votey:
(Close-up on the man's angry, alarmed face.)
Speech bubble: Share.
Woman: HONEY! I HAVE A SURPRISE!
Man: OOH...
Panel 2:
Woman: IT'S NOW POSSIBLE TO CREATE MEAT PRODUCTS DERIVED FROM CELL LINES IN A BIOREACTOR. WE CAN GET MEAT WITHOUT THE ANIMAL!
Man: SO MUCH MORE HUMANE.
Panel 3:
Woman: THAT'S A SMALL BENEFIT. THE REAL CHANGE COMES FROM ITS PSYCHOLOGICAL VALUE.
Panel 4:
Man: I DON'T FOLLOW.
Woman: YOU KNOW HOW WE HAVEN'T HAD A FIGHT IN A LONG TIME?
Man: YEAH.
Panel 5:
Woman: SIX MONTHS AGO, I PUT SOME OF YOUR CELLS IN A BIOREACTOR!
Man: OKAY...
Panel 6:
Woman: NOW, EVERY TIME I'M MAD AT YOU, INSTEAD OF BLOWING UP I JUST USE YOUR CELL LINE TO MAKE A STEAK, AND THEN I EAT IT!
Panel 7:
Woman: IT'S LIKE REVENGE WITHOUT THE MURDER!
Panel 8:
Woman: SUDDENLY THE FACT THAT YOU'VE PUT ON WEIGHT RECENTLY IS INCREDIBLY CREEPY.
Panel 9:
(The man stares, unsettled.)
Panel 10:
Woman (running off): IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME I NEED TO GO MAKE TACOS
Man (chasing after her): STOP!
Votey:
(Close-up on the man's angry, alarmed face.)
Speech bubble: Share.
Alt text
A ten-panel SMBC comic. A cheerful woman in a pink shirt excitedly tells her gray-haired partner she has a surprise: it's now possible to create meat products from cell lines in a bioreactor, getting meat without the animal. He calls it humane, but she says the real benefit is psychological. She explains that six months ago she put some of HIS cells in a bioreactor, and now whenever she's mad at him she just grows a steak from his cell line and eats it -- 'revenge without the murder.' She adds that this suddenly makes the fact that he's put on weight recently incredibly creepy. The man stares, horrified. She runs off cheerfully announcing she needs to go make tacos, and he chases after her shouting 'STOP!' In the votey (bonus panel), a close-up shows the man's furious, alarmed face beside a speech bubble that simply reads: 'Share.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.