kids-2
Original: kids-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title credits: WRITTEN BY: ZACH WEINERSMITH. ART BY: ABBY HOWARD.
Panel 1:
Young person (purple star shirt): "Dad, what's life like after you have kids?"
Dad (older, gray hair): "It's not that different."
Panel 2:
Dad: "The only weird part is that all this stuff that used to be meant for sex is now for kids."
Panel 3:
Young person: "Genitals? For making babies. Boobs? For feeding babies."
Dad: (gesturing)
Panel 4:
Young person: "Vibrating objects? Kids' toys. Santa costumes? Now just for Christmas. Werewolf outfits? Now just for Halloween."
Panel 5:
Young person: "Paddles? Now for playing ping-pong. Chains? For toy necklaces. Fire? For birthday cake."
Panel 6:
Young person: "Toy submarines? Now just used as toy submarines. Full body pony suits? Now just--"
Dad (distressed): "ENOUGH!!"
Panel 7:
Dad: "Did you decide not to have kids?"
Young person: "No, I'm going to burn all my old toy submarines."
(A toy submarine sits on the floor in the background.)
Panel 8:
Dad (close-up, looking grave): "You won't find them."
Votey (aftercomic):
Close-up of the dad's face, looking down sadly. Speech bubble: "They've sailed boy. Oh, they've sailed."
Panel 1:
Young person (purple star shirt): "Dad, what's life like after you have kids?"
Dad (older, gray hair): "It's not that different."
Panel 2:
Dad: "The only weird part is that all this stuff that used to be meant for sex is now for kids."
Panel 3:
Young person: "Genitals? For making babies. Boobs? For feeding babies."
Dad: (gesturing)
Panel 4:
Young person: "Vibrating objects? Kids' toys. Santa costumes? Now just for Christmas. Werewolf outfits? Now just for Halloween."
Panel 5:
Young person: "Paddles? Now for playing ping-pong. Chains? For toy necklaces. Fire? For birthday cake."
Panel 6:
Young person: "Toy submarines? Now just used as toy submarines. Full body pony suits? Now just--"
Dad (distressed): "ENOUGH!!"
Panel 7:
Dad: "Did you decide not to have kids?"
Young person: "No, I'm going to burn all my old toy submarines."
(A toy submarine sits on the floor in the background.)
Panel 8:
Dad (close-up, looking grave): "You won't find them."
Votey (aftercomic):
Close-up of the dad's face, looking down sadly. Speech bubble: "They've sailed boy. Oh, they've sailed."
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic (written by Zach Weinersmith, art by Abby Howard). A young person in a purple star shirt sits across a table from their gray-haired dad and asks what life is like after having kids. The dad says it's not that different, except that all the stuff that used to be meant for sex is now for kids. The young person rattles off a rapid list, each item flipped to an innocent use: genitals for making babies, boobs for feeding babies, vibrating objects as kids' toys, Santa costumes just for Christmas, werewolf outfits just for Halloween, paddles for ping-pong, chains for toy necklaces, fire for birthday cake, toy submarines now just used as toy submarines, full body pony suits now just-- until the increasingly horrified dad shouts "ENOUGH!!" The dad then asks if they decided not to have kids; the young person says no, they're going to burn all their old toy submarines. A toy submarine sits on the floor behind them. In a grave close-up the dad warns, "You won't find them." Votey: an extreme close-up of the dad's downcast face as he says wistfully, "They've sailed boy. Oh, they've sailed."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.