dear-lord
Original: dear-lord on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A man (shown in silhouette) prays.
Man: Dear Lord... ever since I was a child, instead of eating communion wafers, I stuck them in my pocket.
Panel 2: The man, now visible (brown hair, orange shirt), continues praying.
Man: After decades, I've amassed 150 pounds in wafers, which is approximately the weight of a human body.
Panel 3:
Man: Given that wafers are the body of Christ, technically, I have one Jesus in my basement right now.
Panel 4:
Man: Lord, since I've captured you, do I get to make a wish?
God (voice from a speech bubble): Yes, my son.
Panel 5: The man gestures.
Man: ...
Panel 6: The man clasps his hands and bows his head reverently.
Panel 7 (blue background): A close-up of the man's smiling face.
Man: Thanks, Lord!
Caption bar: LATER...
Panel 8: A wide shot. The man stands triumphantly atop an enormous pile of gold, holding a sword in one raised hand and a goblet in the other.
Man (in a speech bubble): I'm amazed more people don't do this.
Votey:
A simple drawing of a single gold communion wafer (a round disc on a string/handle, like a censer or holding tool).
Text inside: Gold is my favorite thing too.
Man: Dear Lord... ever since I was a child, instead of eating communion wafers, I stuck them in my pocket.
Panel 2: The man, now visible (brown hair, orange shirt), continues praying.
Man: After decades, I've amassed 150 pounds in wafers, which is approximately the weight of a human body.
Panel 3:
Man: Given that wafers are the body of Christ, technically, I have one Jesus in my basement right now.
Panel 4:
Man: Lord, since I've captured you, do I get to make a wish?
God (voice from a speech bubble): Yes, my son.
Panel 5: The man gestures.
Man: ...
Panel 6: The man clasps his hands and bows his head reverently.
Panel 7 (blue background): A close-up of the man's smiling face.
Man: Thanks, Lord!
Caption bar: LATER...
Panel 8: A wide shot. The man stands triumphantly atop an enormous pile of gold, holding a sword in one raised hand and a goblet in the other.
Man (in a speech bubble): I'm amazed more people don't do this.
Votey:
A simple drawing of a single gold communion wafer (a round disc on a string/handle, like a censer or holding tool).
Text inside: Gold is my favorite thing too.
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. A man prays to God, confessing that since childhood he has pocketed communion wafers instead of eating them, amassing about 150 pounds of them over decades, roughly the weight of a human body. He reasons that since wafers are the body of Christ, he technically has 'one Jesus' captured in his basement. He asks God whether, having captured Him, he gets to make a wish. God answers, 'Yes, my son.' The man makes his wish, then bows his head and says 'Thanks, Lord!' A caption reads 'LATER...' In the final wide panel, the man stands triumphantly atop a giant pile of gold, brandishing a sword and a goblet, saying, 'I'm amazed more people don't do this.' Votey: a small drawing of a single golden communion wafer with the caption 'Gold is my favorite thing too.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.