lemonade
Original: lemonade on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A man in a suit (Mister Jenkins) stands at a child's lemonade stand by a fence. A small red-haired boy sits behind the stand, which has a sign reading "Lemonade $3".
Mister Jenkins: THREE DOLLARS FOR A GLASS OF LEMONADE? COME ON, KID.
Panel 2: Close-up of the red-haired boy, eyes calmly closed.
Boy: LET'S DISCUSS A FEW FACTS, MISTER JENKINS.
Panel 3: The boy continues, Jenkins partly visible.
Boy: THERE ISN'T A SINGLE COLD BEVERAGE OPTION, ON FOOT OR IN A VEHICLE, FOR TEN MINUTES IN ANY DIRECTION.
Panel 4: The boy gestures, fist raised.
Boy: FURTHERMORE, YOU RAN A LEMONADE STAND AS A BOY AND YOU CRAVE... NO, YOU LONG TO EXPERIENCE, JUST FOR A MOMENT, THE WAY SUNSHINE SUBSUMES ITSELF IN THE CONDENSATION OF A COLD CUP IN SUMMER.
Panel 5: Jenkins listens, looking troubled.
Boy: AND EVEN IF YOU CAN PUT THAT ASIDE FOR A MOMENT, A MINIMUM OF THREE JUDGMENTAL NEIGHBORS ARE WATCHING YOUR BEHAVIOR RIGHT NOW, WONDERING IF YOU WILL CHOOSE GENEROSITY WITH A MERRY LAUGH, OR WALK AWAY, TOO BROKE OR TOO MISERLY TO HELP AN ENTERPRISING LITTLE BOY.
Panel 6: Close-up of the boy, intense and grinning.
Boy: SO WHAT'LL IT BE, JENKINS? MONEY OR THIRST. MONEY OR HOPE. MONEY OR LOVE.
Panel 7: Jenkins, at the fence, pulls out cash. The boy peeks over the fence.
Jenkins: OKAY, I'LL BUY THE GODDAMN LEMONADE.
Boy: SHUCKS, THANKS MISTER!
Votey: A simple sketch panel. A speech bubble curves toward a roughly drawn seated figure.
Boy (offscreen/speech bubble): WOULD YOU LIKE A JOB AT MY LAW FIRM?
Mister Jenkins: THREE DOLLARS FOR A GLASS OF LEMONADE? COME ON, KID.
Panel 2: Close-up of the red-haired boy, eyes calmly closed.
Boy: LET'S DISCUSS A FEW FACTS, MISTER JENKINS.
Panel 3: The boy continues, Jenkins partly visible.
Boy: THERE ISN'T A SINGLE COLD BEVERAGE OPTION, ON FOOT OR IN A VEHICLE, FOR TEN MINUTES IN ANY DIRECTION.
Panel 4: The boy gestures, fist raised.
Boy: FURTHERMORE, YOU RAN A LEMONADE STAND AS A BOY AND YOU CRAVE... NO, YOU LONG TO EXPERIENCE, JUST FOR A MOMENT, THE WAY SUNSHINE SUBSUMES ITSELF IN THE CONDENSATION OF A COLD CUP IN SUMMER.
Panel 5: Jenkins listens, looking troubled.
Boy: AND EVEN IF YOU CAN PUT THAT ASIDE FOR A MOMENT, A MINIMUM OF THREE JUDGMENTAL NEIGHBORS ARE WATCHING YOUR BEHAVIOR RIGHT NOW, WONDERING IF YOU WILL CHOOSE GENEROSITY WITH A MERRY LAUGH, OR WALK AWAY, TOO BROKE OR TOO MISERLY TO HELP AN ENTERPRISING LITTLE BOY.
Panel 6: Close-up of the boy, intense and grinning.
Boy: SO WHAT'LL IT BE, JENKINS? MONEY OR THIRST. MONEY OR HOPE. MONEY OR LOVE.
Panel 7: Jenkins, at the fence, pulls out cash. The boy peeks over the fence.
Jenkins: OKAY, I'LL BUY THE GODDAMN LEMONADE.
Boy: SHUCKS, THANKS MISTER!
Votey: A simple sketch panel. A speech bubble curves toward a roughly drawn seated figure.
Boy (offscreen/speech bubble): WOULD YOU LIKE A JOB AT MY LAW FIRM?
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. A man in a suit, Mister Jenkins, balks at a child's lemonade stand, saying "Three dollars for a glass of lemonade? Come on, kid." The calm red-haired boy behind the stand replies, "Let's discuss a few facts, Mister Jenkins," then delivers an escalating, manipulative sales pitch: there's no other cold drink for ten minutes in any direction; Jenkins secretly longs to relive the summer joy of a cold cup; and judgmental neighbors are watching to see if he'll be generous or walk away too miserly to help an enterprising little boy. Grinning intensely, the boy demands, "So what'll it be, Jenkins? Money or thirst. Money or hope. Money or love." Defeated, Jenkins pulls out cash at the fence and says, "Okay, I'll buy the goddamn lemonade," and the boy chirps, "Shucks, thanks mister!" Votey (bonus panel): a rough sketch of the boy with a speech bubble asking, "Would you like a job at my law firm?"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.