algebra
Original: algebra on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A woman with dark hair and round glasses (a teacher) addresses a class.
Teacher: WE ARE NO LONGER TEACHING ALGEBRA OR CALCULUS BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT USEFUL IN THE REAL WORLD.
Panel 2: A boy throws his arms up in celebration.
Boy: YAYYY!
Panel 3 (labeled "LATER."): The boy, now looking serious, addresses his parents.
Boy: MOM! DAD!
Panel 4 (labeled "LATER STILL."): A young man (the boy grown up) stands resolute.
Young man: I SHALL BECOME... BATMAN.
Panel 5: A man sits at a desk drawing/working on a Batman costume design.
Panel 6 (labeled "AND SO..."): Batman appears, scowling, holding up a green note with a question mark on it.
Batman: THE RIDDLER.
(The note Batman reads says "DAMMIT!")
Panel 7: A close-up of Batman's gloved hand holding the green riddle note. The note reads: "I am departing Gotham Station at 10 AM, with my velocity given by the equation v = v0 + ..." (an algebra/physics equation the math-illiterate Batman cannot solve).
Bonus comic caption (bottom left): "THIS BONUS COMIC THANKS TO SOONISH PREORDERS. CLICK FOR MORE INFO OR NOT. YOU'RE AN ADULT. IT'S UP TO YOU OKAY?"
Votey:
Caption: 3 hours later...
A close-up of Batman, hand on his chin, looking defeated.
Batman: Ahh, screw those hostages.
Teacher: WE ARE NO LONGER TEACHING ALGEBRA OR CALCULUS BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT USEFUL IN THE REAL WORLD.
Panel 2: A boy throws his arms up in celebration.
Boy: YAYYY!
Panel 3 (labeled "LATER."): The boy, now looking serious, addresses his parents.
Boy: MOM! DAD!
Panel 4 (labeled "LATER STILL."): A young man (the boy grown up) stands resolute.
Young man: I SHALL BECOME... BATMAN.
Panel 5: A man sits at a desk drawing/working on a Batman costume design.
Panel 6 (labeled "AND SO..."): Batman appears, scowling, holding up a green note with a question mark on it.
Batman: THE RIDDLER.
(The note Batman reads says "DAMMIT!")
Panel 7: A close-up of Batman's gloved hand holding the green riddle note. The note reads: "I am departing Gotham Station at 10 AM, with my velocity given by the equation v = v0 + ..." (an algebra/physics equation the math-illiterate Batman cannot solve).
Bonus comic caption (bottom left): "THIS BONUS COMIC THANKS TO SOONISH PREORDERS. CLICK FOR MORE INFO OR NOT. YOU'RE AN ADULT. IT'S UP TO YOU OKAY?"
Votey:
Caption: 3 hours later...
A close-up of Batman, hand on his chin, looking defeated.
Batman: Ahh, screw those hostages.
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a teacher with round glasses announces, "We are no longer teaching algebra or calculus because they're not useful in the real world." Panel 2: a boy cheers "Yayyy!" Panel 3, labeled "Later": the boy says "Mom! Dad!" Panel 4, labeled "Later still": the grown boy declares "I shall become... Batman." Panel 5: a man designs a Batman costume at a desk. Panel 6, labeled "And so...": Batman, scowling, holds up a green riddle note marked with a question mark and says "The Riddler"; a thought reads "Dammit!" The riddle note reads: "I am departing Gotham Station at 10 AM, with my velocity given by the equation v = v0 + ..." The joke: Batman skipped math as a kid and now can't solve the Riddler's algebra/physics puzzle. A bonus-comic caption thanks Soonish preorders. Votey: captioned "3 hours later...", a defeated Batman rests his hand on his chin and says, "Ahh, screw those hostages."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.