taffy
Original: taffy on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A person with a hair bun (seen earlier from behind, dark-skinned) speaks.
Person: Saltwater taffy is proof that the ocean is beautiful and sublime.
Panel 2: A blonde person and the dark-skinned person stand together.
Blonde person: How so?
Dark-skinned person: Do you like taffy?
Panel 3:
Blonde person: I guess I don't normally buy it.
Dark-skinned person: Can you imagine buying off-brand taffy, rolling it in salt, and eating it?
Panel 4:
Blonde person: I probably wouldn't.
Dark-skinned person: And yet here we are, buying it, eating a whole box. Why a whole box in one sitting? Because when we're away from the ocean it'll no longer be desirable.
Panel 5:
Dark-skinned person: There is some alternate reality where people stare at oceans and eat pickled fish-eyes or cotton candy beef jerky. Here, it's salted taffy.
Panel 6: A close-up of a hand holding a piece of licorice/taffy candy. Narration (the dark-skinned person speaking):
This licorice chew that I'm about to eat... it is humanity's proof to itself that we will never reckon wholly with the profundity of nature, that there will always be beauty enough... and mystery enough...
Panel 7: The two people, seen from behind, sit/stand looking out at an orange-and-red ocean view. One reaches up to bring the candy to their mouth.
Panel 8: The two figures stand as silhouettes on a tiled path under a starry, magenta night sky, looking out.
Blonde person: God it tastes like shit.
Text at bottom: PS: It's the last day to support our new Kickstarter! Click to check it out!
Votey: Handwritten text in a panel:
Why do I have the feeling that this comic will get more hatemail than any before?
Person: Saltwater taffy is proof that the ocean is beautiful and sublime.
Panel 2: A blonde person and the dark-skinned person stand together.
Blonde person: How so?
Dark-skinned person: Do you like taffy?
Panel 3:
Blonde person: I guess I don't normally buy it.
Dark-skinned person: Can you imagine buying off-brand taffy, rolling it in salt, and eating it?
Panel 4:
Blonde person: I probably wouldn't.
Dark-skinned person: And yet here we are, buying it, eating a whole box. Why a whole box in one sitting? Because when we're away from the ocean it'll no longer be desirable.
Panel 5:
Dark-skinned person: There is some alternate reality where people stare at oceans and eat pickled fish-eyes or cotton candy beef jerky. Here, it's salted taffy.
Panel 6: A close-up of a hand holding a piece of licorice/taffy candy. Narration (the dark-skinned person speaking):
This licorice chew that I'm about to eat... it is humanity's proof to itself that we will never reckon wholly with the profundity of nature, that there will always be beauty enough... and mystery enough...
Panel 7: The two people, seen from behind, sit/stand looking out at an orange-and-red ocean view. One reaches up to bring the candy to their mouth.
Panel 8: The two figures stand as silhouettes on a tiled path under a starry, magenta night sky, looking out.
Blonde person: God it tastes like shit.
Text at bottom: PS: It's the last day to support our new Kickstarter! Click to check it out!
Votey: Handwritten text in a panel:
Why do I have the feeling that this comic will get more hatemail than any before?
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. A dark-skinned person with a hair bun rhapsodizes to a blonde companion that saltwater taffy is proof the ocean is beautiful and sublime. Asked how, they argue that nobody would normally buy off-brand taffy and roll it in salt, yet by the sea they eat a whole box, because away from the ocean it would no longer be desirable. They speculate there's an alternate reality where people eat pickled fish-eyes or cotton candy beef jerky by the sea; here it's salted taffy. Over a close-up of a hand holding a piece of licorice candy, they wax poetic that this chew is humanity's proof that we'll never fully reckon with the profundity of nature, that there will always be beauty enough and mystery enough. In the final panel the two stand as silhouettes on a tiled path under a starry magenta sky, and the blonde flatly says: 'God it tastes like shit.' A note reads it's the last day to support their Kickstarter. The votey (aftercomic) is handwritten text reading: 'Why do I have the feeling that this comic will get more hatemail than any before?'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.