washington
Original: washington on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Child: Dad, I read that Washington had false teeth. Why is that?
Panel 2:
Dad: To fight the British.
(A small silhouette of an adult and child standing on a hill in the distance.)
Panel 3:
Dad: A redcoat would punch Washington, thinking he'd knocked out his teeth.
Dad: But those were DECOY TEETH.
Panel 4:
Dad: Then, Washington would activate his REAL teeth, and go for the JUGULAR.
Panel 5:
Child: But I thought Washington "could not tell a lie."
Dad: But he didn't actually say a lie.
Panel 6:
Child: Are you sure?
Panel 7:
Dad: Where do you think the phrase "to lie through one's teeth" comes from?
Child: OHMYGOD
(The silhouette of the adult and child on the hill again in the distance.)
Votey:
A close-up of the dad's face, looking smug.
Dad: You should watch more news opinion shows, son.
Child: Dad, I read that Washington had false teeth. Why is that?
Panel 2:
Dad: To fight the British.
(A small silhouette of an adult and child standing on a hill in the distance.)
Panel 3:
Dad: A redcoat would punch Washington, thinking he'd knocked out his teeth.
Dad: But those were DECOY TEETH.
Panel 4:
Dad: Then, Washington would activate his REAL teeth, and go for the JUGULAR.
Panel 5:
Child: But I thought Washington "could not tell a lie."
Dad: But he didn't actually say a lie.
Panel 6:
Child: Are you sure?
Panel 7:
Dad: Where do you think the phrase "to lie through one's teeth" comes from?
Child: OHMYGOD
(The silhouette of the adult and child on the hill again in the distance.)
Votey:
A close-up of the dad's face, looking smug.
Dad: You should watch more news opinion shows, son.
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic in which a bespectacled father gives his wide-eyed child an absurd history lesson. The child asks why George Washington had false teeth. The dad explains it was "to fight the British": a redcoat would punch Washington thinking he'd knocked out his teeth, but those were DECOY TEETH, after which Washington would activate his REAL teeth and go for the JUGULAR. When the child protests that Washington "could not tell a lie," the dad insists "he didn't actually say a lie." The child asks "Are you sure?" and the dad delivers the punchline: "Where do you think the phrase 'to lie through one's teeth' comes from?" The child reacts "OHMYGOD." Several panels show a tiny silhouette of the two standing on a hill. In the votey aftercomic, a close-up of the dad's smug face says: "You should watch more news opinion shows, son."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.