citations-needed
Original: citations-needed on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Narration caption: I REALIZED SOMETHING.
Red-bearded man (thought bubble): WAIT. SCIENTISTS NO LONGER KNOW ANY LATIN.
Panel 2:
Narration caption: THIS PRESENTED AN OPPORTUNITY FOR THE FIRST MOVER.
(The man stands at a counter speaking to a clerk.)
Man: HI, I'D LIKE TO GET MY NAME CHANGED.
Panel 3:
(The pink-haired clerk looks unimpressed as the man holds a paper.)
Panel 4:
Narration caption: THE MEANS WERE NOT ENTIRELY HONORABLE.
Man (now at a podium in a suit): HELLO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
Panel 5:
Narration caption: BUT, I AM NOW THE MOST CITED RESEARCHER IN HISTORY.
Man (back of head, addressing an audience): MY NAME IS...
Panel 6:
Man: ET AL
Audience: GASP!
Votey:
Close-up of the red-bearded man's face, smiling slyly.
Man: Now to collect all the power due to an associate professor!
Narration caption: I REALIZED SOMETHING.
Red-bearded man (thought bubble): WAIT. SCIENTISTS NO LONGER KNOW ANY LATIN.
Panel 2:
Narration caption: THIS PRESENTED AN OPPORTUNITY FOR THE FIRST MOVER.
(The man stands at a counter speaking to a clerk.)
Man: HI, I'D LIKE TO GET MY NAME CHANGED.
Panel 3:
(The pink-haired clerk looks unimpressed as the man holds a paper.)
Panel 4:
Narration caption: THE MEANS WERE NOT ENTIRELY HONORABLE.
Man (now at a podium in a suit): HELLO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
Panel 5:
Narration caption: BUT, I AM NOW THE MOST CITED RESEARCHER IN HISTORY.
Man (back of head, addressing an audience): MY NAME IS...
Panel 6:
Man: ET AL
Audience: GASP!
Votey:
Close-up of the red-bearded man's face, smiling slyly.
Man: Now to collect all the power due to an associate professor!
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic with pink narration captions across the top of each panel. Panel 1 (caption: "I realized something"): A red-bearded man thinks, "Wait. Scientists no longer know any Latin." Panel 2 (caption: "This presented an opportunity for the first mover"): He stands at a service counter saying, "Hi, I'd like to get my name changed." Panel 3: An unimpressed pink-haired clerk looks at him as he holds a paper. Panel 4 (caption: "The means were not entirely honorable"): Now in a suit at a podium, he says, "Hello, ladies and gentlemen." Panel 5 (caption: "But, I am now the most cited researcher in history"): Facing an audience, he says, "My name is..." Panel 6: He announces "ET AL" and the crowd reacts "GASP!" The joke: by legally renaming himself "Et Al," he gets credited on every paper that cites multiple authors ("et al."), making him the most-cited researcher ever. Votey: A close-up of the man's face grinning slyly as he says, "Now to collect all the power due to an associate professor!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.