you-have-to-love-me
Original: you-have-to-love-me on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man wearing a human-skin suit (eyes and teeth visible through the skin mask): I KILLED YOUR HUSBAND AND I'M WEARING HIS SKIN! NOW YOU HAVE TO LOVE ME!
Panel 2:
Woman: I'M NOT MARRIED.
Skin-suit man: WHAT?
Panel 3:
Skin-suit man: WHO THE HELL'S SKIN AM I WEARING?
Panel 4:
A naked man stands in a doorway looking shocked, surrounded by motion lines.
Skin-suit man (off-panel): WELL, NOW I JUST FEEL GROSS.
Panel 5:
Woman: THAT'S MY ROOMMATE.
Panel 6:
Woman: HEY, YOU NEED A NEW ROOMMATE?
Skin-suit man: I MEAN, TECHNICALLY.
Panel 7:
Woman: I'M HONESTLY SURPRISED YOU AREN'T MORE UPSET.
Skin-suit man: THE GUY ALWAYS LEFT THE DOOR UNLOCKED.
Panel 8 (silhouettes against a black background, a shrugging ghost-like figure and the woman):
Woman: ON THIS SIDE OF TOWN?
Ghost-like figure: RIGHT?
Woman: THAT'S JUST IRRESPONSIBLE.
Votey:
A wide-eyed, shocked face stares out. An off-panel voice (speech bubble): Society has really gone to shit.
Man wearing a human-skin suit (eyes and teeth visible through the skin mask): I KILLED YOUR HUSBAND AND I'M WEARING HIS SKIN! NOW YOU HAVE TO LOVE ME!
Panel 2:
Woman: I'M NOT MARRIED.
Skin-suit man: WHAT?
Panel 3:
Skin-suit man: WHO THE HELL'S SKIN AM I WEARING?
Panel 4:
A naked man stands in a doorway looking shocked, surrounded by motion lines.
Skin-suit man (off-panel): WELL, NOW I JUST FEEL GROSS.
Panel 5:
Woman: THAT'S MY ROOMMATE.
Panel 6:
Woman: HEY, YOU NEED A NEW ROOMMATE?
Skin-suit man: I MEAN, TECHNICALLY.
Panel 7:
Woman: I'M HONESTLY SURPRISED YOU AREN'T MORE UPSET.
Skin-suit man: THE GUY ALWAYS LEFT THE DOOR UNLOCKED.
Panel 8 (silhouettes against a black background, a shrugging ghost-like figure and the woman):
Woman: ON THIS SIDE OF TOWN?
Ghost-like figure: RIGHT?
Woman: THAT'S JUST IRRESPONSIBLE.
Votey:
A wide-eyed, shocked face stares out. An off-panel voice (speech bubble): Society has really gone to shit.
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. A man wearing a full human-skin suit, with his eyes and teeth showing through the mask, bursts in declaring he killed the woman's husband and is wearing his skin, so now she has to love him. The woman flatly replies that she isn't married. Confused, the killer asks whose skin he is wearing. The next panel shows a shocked naked man standing in a doorway; the killer says now he just feels gross. The woman explains it's her roommate's skin, then casually asks if the killer needs a new roommate, and he answers 'I mean, technically.' She says she's surprised he isn't more upset, and he notes the guy always left the door unlocked. In the final panel, shown as silhouettes against black, the two commiserate about how leaving a door unlocked on this side of town is just irresponsible. In the votey aftercomic, a wide-eyed, horrified cartoon face stares out while an off-screen voice says, 'Society has really gone to shit.' The joke: a murderer and his victim's acquaintance bond over the dead man's careless habit of leaving the door unlocked, treating the crime as less shocking than the lapse in home security.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.