accursed-discounts
Original: accursed-discounts on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Father (a bespectacled man with a mustache, holding a red box): GREAT NEWS, BILLY! WAL-MART OPENED A BRANCH THAT GIVES BIG DISCOUNTS ON HORRIFIC ACCURSED PRODUCTS!
(A red-haired boy in a striped shirt smiles.)
Panel 2:
Father: I GOT YOU THIS FIRE TRUCK. IT'S TOP OF THE LINE, WITH ITS ONLY FLAW BEING THAT WHENEVER YOU TOUCH IT, YOU HEAR THE SCREAMS OF A MURDERED BOY WHOSE SOUL IS TRAPPED WITHIN.
Panel 3:
Father: I- DON'T WORRY! I PUT A SOUND MODULATOR ON IT THAT CONVERTS SCREAMS INTO SIREN NOISES!
Panel 4:
(The father hands the red fire truck to the boy.)
Panel 5:
(The boy holds the fire truck. Large lettering emanates from it:) WEEEYOOOOO WEEYOOO WEEYOO OOO
Panel 6:
Father (looking off with a strained, uneasy expression): SO MUCH SAVING...
Votey:
(A close-up of the father's face, eyes closed, mouth open. A speech bubble in handwritten text:)
Father: Now say thank you.
Father (a bespectacled man with a mustache, holding a red box): GREAT NEWS, BILLY! WAL-MART OPENED A BRANCH THAT GIVES BIG DISCOUNTS ON HORRIFIC ACCURSED PRODUCTS!
(A red-haired boy in a striped shirt smiles.)
Panel 2:
Father: I GOT YOU THIS FIRE TRUCK. IT'S TOP OF THE LINE, WITH ITS ONLY FLAW BEING THAT WHENEVER YOU TOUCH IT, YOU HEAR THE SCREAMS OF A MURDERED BOY WHOSE SOUL IS TRAPPED WITHIN.
Panel 3:
Father: I- DON'T WORRY! I PUT A SOUND MODULATOR ON IT THAT CONVERTS SCREAMS INTO SIREN NOISES!
Panel 4:
(The father hands the red fire truck to the boy.)
Panel 5:
(The boy holds the fire truck. Large lettering emanates from it:) WEEEYOOOOO WEEYOOO WEEYOO OOO
Panel 6:
Father (looking off with a strained, uneasy expression): SO MUCH SAVING...
Votey:
(A close-up of the father's face, eyes closed, mouth open. A speech bubble in handwritten text:)
Father: Now say thank you.
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A mustached, bespectacled father holding a red box tells his red-haired son: "Great news, Billy! Wal-Mart opened a branch that gives big discounts on horrific accursed products!" He presents a top-of-the-line toy fire truck whose only flaw is that touching it makes you hear the screams of a murdered boy whose soul is trapped within. The boy looks alarmed, but the father reassures him: "I- Don't worry! I put a sound modulator on it that converts screams into siren noises!" He hands over the truck; as the boy holds it, big letters spell out "WEEEYOOOOO WEEYOOO WEEYOO OOO" coming from the toy. In the final panel the father stares off with a strained, queasy expression, saying "So much saving..." Votey: an extreme close-up of the father's face, eyes shut and mouth open, saying in shaky handwriting, "Now say thank you."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.