gunnar-is-dead
Original: gunnar-is-dead on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: Two Viking men stand looking down at a dead body lying on the ground (the corpse has long dark hair and a beard).
Blond-bearded Viking: "Oh, jeez. Ew. Gunnar is dead."
Dark-bearded Viking: "Gross."
Panel 2 (blond-bearded Viking): "Ugh. I want to take his stuff, but he was just so DISGUSTING. His beard was, like, one solid hunk of grease."
Panel 3 (dark-bearded Viking): "We can't just leave him out. He already stinks, and he isn't even rotten yet."
Panel 4 (blond-bearded Viking): "I'll get a shovel."
Bottom panel caption: "1,000 YEARS LATER..."
A museum/tour guide gesturing to a small group of visitors in an outdoor green landscape with trees: "And Viking heroes were buried in mounds, with their weapons, as a sign of respect."
Votey:
Close-up of a Viking's face. He says: "Make a pyre and heap all his crap on it."
Blond-bearded Viking: "Oh, jeez. Ew. Gunnar is dead."
Dark-bearded Viking: "Gross."
Panel 2 (blond-bearded Viking): "Ugh. I want to take his stuff, but he was just so DISGUSTING. His beard was, like, one solid hunk of grease."
Panel 3 (dark-bearded Viking): "We can't just leave him out. He already stinks, and he isn't even rotten yet."
Panel 4 (blond-bearded Viking): "I'll get a shovel."
Bottom panel caption: "1,000 YEARS LATER..."
A museum/tour guide gesturing to a small group of visitors in an outdoor green landscape with trees: "And Viking heroes were buried in mounds, with their weapons, as a sign of respect."
Votey:
Close-up of a Viking's face. He says: "Make a pyre and heap all his crap on it."
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic plus an aftercomic. Top panels: two Viking men, one blond-bearded and one dark-bearded, stand over the corpse of a long-haired, bearded man lying on the ground. The blond Viking says, "Oh, jeez. Ew. Gunnar is dead," and the dark-bearded one replies, "Gross." The blond Viking continues, "Ugh. I want to take his stuff, but he was just so disgusting. His beard was, like, one solid hunk of grease." The dark-bearded Viking says, "We can't just leave him out. He already stinks, and he isn't even rotten yet." The blond Viking concludes, "I'll get a shovel." A wide bottom panel captioned "1,000 years later..." shows a museum guide gesturing to tourists in a grassy outdoor landscape, saying, "And Viking heroes were buried in mounds, with their weapons, as a sign of respect." The joke: a disrespectful, disgusted disposal of a smelly corpse is later misremembered by history as a reverent burial ritual. Votey: a close-up of a Viking's face saying, "Make a pyre and heap all his crap on it," reinforcing that the famous Viking funeral traditions originated as crude, contemptuous trash-disposal.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.