parenting-regions
Original: parenting-regions on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Old man (bald, glasses, suit): I think parents these days need to let their kids run wild like we did in my day!
(A woman carrying a small child on her hip stands nearby.)
Panel 2:
Old man: Of course, you got these other parents who just let their kids do whatever they want! Like, hey lady, why aren't you watching your dang kids?
Panel 3:
Old man: What I'm saying is there exists an annulus given by π(R² - r²) which defines the narrow band of space in which you may place your child and not have to deal with my negative opinions.
Panel 4:
Woman (smiling): Wow! I've never been judged via geometry!
Panel 5:
Old man (raising a finger): I can also do it with statistics!
Votey:
The old man, eyes closed and smug: Only a genius could be this judgmental!
Old man (bald, glasses, suit): I think parents these days need to let their kids run wild like we did in my day!
(A woman carrying a small child on her hip stands nearby.)
Panel 2:
Old man: Of course, you got these other parents who just let their kids do whatever they want! Like, hey lady, why aren't you watching your dang kids?
Panel 3:
Old man: What I'm saying is there exists an annulus given by π(R² - r²) which defines the narrow band of space in which you may place your child and not have to deal with my negative opinions.
Panel 4:
Woman (smiling): Wow! I've never been judged via geometry!
Panel 5:
Old man (raising a finger): I can also do it with statistics!
Votey:
The old man, eyes closed and smug: Only a genius could be this judgmental!
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. A smug bald old man in a suit and glasses lectures a woman who is carrying a small child on her hip. Panel 1, he says: 'I think parents these days need to let their kids run wild like we did in my day!' Panel 2: 'Of course, you got these other parents who just let their kids do whatever they want! Like, hey lady, why aren't you watching your dang kids?' Panel 3, getting pedantic: 'What I'm saying is there exists an annulus given by pi times (R squared minus r squared) which defines the narrow band of space in which you may place your child and not have to deal with my negative opinions.' Panel 4, the woman smiles: 'Wow! I've never been judged via geometry!' Panel 5, the old man raises one finger: 'I can also do it with statistics!' The joke: his parenting opinions are so self-contradictory that the only valid zone is an impossibly narrow mathematical annulus. Votey (aftercomic): a close-up of the old man's face, eyes closed in smug satisfaction, declaring: 'Only a genius could be this judgmental!'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.