teach-a-man-to-fish
Original: teach-a-man-to-fish on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (caption): Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day.
Panel 2 (caption): Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.
Panel 3 (caption): Teach every man to fish, and you will feed them all, until the fish population collapses.
Panel 4 (caption): Teach a small restricted group of men how to fish really well, and you will feed most people, but will create massive inequality.
Panel 5 (caption): Teach every man to fish and teach every man about common-pool resource management, and you will feed them until social trust breaks down.
Panel 6 (caption): Teach an ethnically homogeneous group to fish, and -
Student (offscreen, speech balloon): Professor!
[Scene: a robed professor figure at a chalkboard, a hand raised in the foreground.]
Panel 7:
Student: Does this go anywhere? Of course?
Professor: I'm teaching you the fundamental principle of political economy.
Panel 8:
[The professor writes on a green chalkboard, which reads: "HUMANS ARE GARBAGE". Equations are scrawled at the top of the board.]
Votey:
[A hand-drawn line graph. Y-axis labeled "Garbageness", X-axis labeled "#humans". The curve stays flat near zero, then sweeps sharply upward as the number of humans increases.]
Panel 2 (caption): Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.
Panel 3 (caption): Teach every man to fish, and you will feed them all, until the fish population collapses.
Panel 4 (caption): Teach a small restricted group of men how to fish really well, and you will feed most people, but will create massive inequality.
Panel 5 (caption): Teach every man to fish and teach every man about common-pool resource management, and you will feed them until social trust breaks down.
Panel 6 (caption): Teach an ethnically homogeneous group to fish, and -
Student (offscreen, speech balloon): Professor!
[Scene: a robed professor figure at a chalkboard, a hand raised in the foreground.]
Panel 7:
Student: Does this go anywhere? Of course?
Professor: I'm teaching you the fundamental principle of political economy.
Panel 8:
[The professor writes on a green chalkboard, which reads: "HUMANS ARE GARBAGE". Equations are scrawled at the top of the board.]
Votey:
[A hand-drawn line graph. Y-axis labeled "Garbageness", X-axis labeled "#humans". The curve stays flat near zero, then sweeps sharply upward as the number of humans increases.]
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic that escalates the proverb "give a man a fish." Panel 1: "Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day," with two stick figures. Panel 2: "Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime," stick figures in a boat. Panel 3: "Teach every man to fish... until the fish population collapses," crowd of stick figures. Panel 4: "Teach a small restricted group of men how to fish really well... but will create massive inequality." Panel 5: "Teach every man... about common-pool resource management... until social trust breaks down," figures fighting. Panel 6: "Teach an ethnically homogeneous group to fish, and -" before a student interrupts, "Professor!" Panel 7: a student asks "Does this go anywhere?" and the robed professor replies, "I'm teaching you the fundamental principle of political economy." Panel 8: the professor stands at a green chalkboard on which is written the punchline: "HUMANS ARE GARBAGE." Votey aftercomic: a crude line graph with the y-axis labeled "Garbageness" and x-axis labeled "#humans"; the curve is flat at first then curves sharply upward, implying garbageness rises steeply with the number of humans.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.