a-proposal-for-a-new-space-agency
Original: a-proposal-for-a-new-space-agency on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1
Man with hair: Argh. It's not exploring the universe! And it's a way to make more funding! I say nationalize the spurs innovation and competition!
Panel 2
Bald man: So today we announced the creation of NASTA - the National Air and Space Total Aggules.
Panel 3
Bald man: NASTA will design and launch missions explicitly to screw up anything NASA was hoping to explore. In the future, any robots we send around to...
Panel 4
Bald man: We will drop the piercings on all Martian landing sites!
Panel 5
Bald man: We will land nuclear-powered heaters on every comet in the solar system!
Panel 6
Bald man: We will drill ten kilometers into the surface of Enceladus, penetrating to the liquid water ocean, and then dump a big ol' jar of sea monkeys right down the hole!
Panel 7
Bald man: NASTA employees will be located by ph-emm people and post really enough technical explanations of rocket science online.
Panel 8
Man with hair: Are you doing this because you think it's a good idea or just to give over to your most misanthropic tendencies?
Bald man: I'd answer that, but you're too dumb to understand.
Votey:
Bald man (speech bubble): It involves square roots.
[An alien-like face stares blankly.]
Man with hair: Argh. It's not exploring the universe! And it's a way to make more funding! I say nationalize the spurs innovation and competition!
Panel 2
Bald man: So today we announced the creation of NASTA - the National Air and Space Total Aggules.
Panel 3
Bald man: NASTA will design and launch missions explicitly to screw up anything NASA was hoping to explore. In the future, any robots we send around to...
Panel 4
Bald man: We will drop the piercings on all Martian landing sites!
Panel 5
Bald man: We will land nuclear-powered heaters on every comet in the solar system!
Panel 6
Bald man: We will drill ten kilometers into the surface of Enceladus, penetrating to the liquid water ocean, and then dump a big ol' jar of sea monkeys right down the hole!
Panel 7
Bald man: NASTA employees will be located by ph-emm people and post really enough technical explanations of rocket science online.
Panel 8
Man with hair: Are you doing this because you think it's a good idea or just to give over to your most misanthropic tendencies?
Bald man: I'd answer that, but you're too dumb to understand.
Votey:
Bald man (speech bubble): It involves square roots.
[An alien-like face stares blankly.]
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. Two men in suits - one with spiky dark hair, one bald - converse. The hairy man argues passionately about nationalizing a space agency to spur innovation and competition. The bald man announces the creation of 'NASTA - the National Air and Space Total Aggules,' an agency designed explicitly to sabotage everything NASA hopes to explore: dropping debris on Martian landing sites, landing nuclear-powered heaters on every comet, drilling ten kilometers into Enceladus to dump a jar of sea monkeys into its subsurface ocean, and posting overly technical rocket-science explanations online. In the final panel the hairy man asks whether he's doing this because he thinks it's a good idea or just to indulge his misanthropic tendencies; the bald man replies, 'I'd answer that, but you're too dumb to understand.' Votey: a single panel showing a blank-staring alien-like face above a speech bubble reading 'It involves square roots.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.