heap-problems
Original: heap-problems on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (woman with dark hair and a scarf, gesturing):
Woman: There's this concept in philosophy called "a heap problem."
Panel 2 (woman with curly dark hair, smiling):
Woman 2: You have one of something. It's not a heap. You add another. It's still not a heap. If you have ten thousand, it's certainly a heap. So, at what point do you go from a non-heap to a heap?
Panel 3 (first woman, dismissive):
Woman: Afft. A heap is just a human concept. We use it for intellectual book-keeping because we have limited cognitive capacity. But there is no heap. Just larger amounts of stuff.
Panel 4 (second woman):
Woman 2: It's only a "problem" to the extent that we're upset by the fact that a heap isn't real. Just like a proton isn't real, anyway.
Panel 5 (a skeleton-like / spooky figure in darkness):
Figure: We live in Aristotle's world of stuff, and we long to live in Plato's world of ideas.
Panel 6 (second woman in shadow):
Woman 2: But, in a far off galaxy, you will find protons. You will find the same stuff. But heaps are just an idea in the minds of limited organisms.
Panel 7 (first woman, hopeful):
Woman: What about mountains or warmth or the color red or love or consciousness? They're some of my favorite things. They're real to me.
Panel 8 (second woman):
Woman 2: It's not the universe's fault if your favorites aren't well-aligned with the nature of reality.
Panel 9 (a small child figure asks):
Child: What's your favorite thing?
Woman 2 (in shadow): Quark-gluon interactions.
Votey:
Handwritten on a sticky-note style square: "ELEMENTARY PARTICLES ARE FUNdamental" (the "FUN" emphasized).
Woman: There's this concept in philosophy called "a heap problem."
Panel 2 (woman with curly dark hair, smiling):
Woman 2: You have one of something. It's not a heap. You add another. It's still not a heap. If you have ten thousand, it's certainly a heap. So, at what point do you go from a non-heap to a heap?
Panel 3 (first woman, dismissive):
Woman: Afft. A heap is just a human concept. We use it for intellectual book-keeping because we have limited cognitive capacity. But there is no heap. Just larger amounts of stuff.
Panel 4 (second woman):
Woman 2: It's only a "problem" to the extent that we're upset by the fact that a heap isn't real. Just like a proton isn't real, anyway.
Panel 5 (a skeleton-like / spooky figure in darkness):
Figure: We live in Aristotle's world of stuff, and we long to live in Plato's world of ideas.
Panel 6 (second woman in shadow):
Woman 2: But, in a far off galaxy, you will find protons. You will find the same stuff. But heaps are just an idea in the minds of limited organisms.
Panel 7 (first woman, hopeful):
Woman: What about mountains or warmth or the color red or love or consciousness? They're some of my favorite things. They're real to me.
Panel 8 (second woman):
Woman 2: It's not the universe's fault if your favorites aren't well-aligned with the nature of reality.
Panel 9 (a small child figure asks):
Child: What's your favorite thing?
Woman 2 (in shadow): Quark-gluon interactions.
Votey:
Handwritten on a sticky-note style square: "ELEMENTARY PARTICLES ARE FUNdamental" (the "FUN" emphasized).
Alt text
A nine-panel SMBC comic. Two women debate metaphysics. The first woman explains the philosophical "heap problem": one grain isn't a heap, ten thousand is, so where's the line? She concludes a heap is just a human concept for intellectual book-keeping, with no real existence, only larger amounts of stuff. The second woman agrees and says it's only a problem because we're upset that a heap isn't real, "just like a proton isn't real, anyway." A spooky skeletal figure intones that we live in Aristotle's world of stuff but long for Plato's world of ideas. The second woman counters that in a far-off galaxy you'd still find protons and the same stuff, but heaps are merely an idea in the minds of limited organisms. The first woman hopefully lists her favorite things: mountains, warmth, the color red, love, consciousness, insisting they're real to her. The second woman replies, deadpan, "It's not the universe's fault if your favorites aren't well-aligned with the nature of reality." In the final panel a small child asks the second woman her favorite thing, and she answers from the shadows: "Quark-gluon interactions." The votey shows a handwritten sticky note reading "ELEMENTARY PARTICLES ARE FUNdamental," with FUN emphasized as a pun on fundamental particles.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.