the-future-of-work
Original: the-future-of-work on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A balding man in a suit (a manager) stands presenting.
Manager: Thanks to new technology in neurocomputing, we can detect the moment when worker attention lapses.
Panel 2:
Manager: In order to increase your productivity, we're putting a small cannula in the base of every worker's skull.
Panel 3:
Manager: When lapsed attention is detected, a tiny dose of amphetamine will be released directly into the brain.
Panel 4: A worker (shown only as a side profile of a head with the brain visible) raises a finger.
Worker: Questions?
Panel 5: A woman with brown hair.
Woman: Isn't this horrible?
Panel 6: The manager.
Manager: Not from a revenue standpoint.
Panel 7: A man with dark hair and a beard.
Bearded man: Isn't this illegal?
Panel 8: The manager.
Manager: Not from a revenue standpoint.
Panel 9: A bald, bearded worker, eager.
Bald worker: If I come in drunk, will I get, just, like, the best high ever?
Panel 10: The manager, hesitating.
Manager: Uh... Well... I...
Panel 11: Caption: AND SO...
A red-haired man sits manically grinning at a computer monitor while the manager stands behind him.
Red-haired man: Formatting margins is how I taste God!
Votey:
A hand-drawn close-up of the red-haired man's face, smiling blissfully.
Red-haired man: God tastes like blood.
Manager: Thanks to new technology in neurocomputing, we can detect the moment when worker attention lapses.
Panel 2:
Manager: In order to increase your productivity, we're putting a small cannula in the base of every worker's skull.
Panel 3:
Manager: When lapsed attention is detected, a tiny dose of amphetamine will be released directly into the brain.
Panel 4: A worker (shown only as a side profile of a head with the brain visible) raises a finger.
Worker: Questions?
Panel 5: A woman with brown hair.
Woman: Isn't this horrible?
Panel 6: The manager.
Manager: Not from a revenue standpoint.
Panel 7: A man with dark hair and a beard.
Bearded man: Isn't this illegal?
Panel 8: The manager.
Manager: Not from a revenue standpoint.
Panel 9: A bald, bearded worker, eager.
Bald worker: If I come in drunk, will I get, just, like, the best high ever?
Panel 10: The manager, hesitating.
Manager: Uh... Well... I...
Panel 11: Caption: AND SO...
A red-haired man sits manically grinning at a computer monitor while the manager stands behind him.
Red-haired man: Formatting margins is how I taste God!
Votey:
A hand-drawn close-up of the red-haired man's face, smiling blissfully.
Red-haired man: God tastes like blood.
Alt text
A vertically stacked SMBC comic in a workplace meeting. A balding manager in a suit announces a new neurocomputing technology that can detect when a worker's attention lapses; he says they'll implant a small cannula in the base of every worker's skull, and when attention lapses a tiny dose of amphetamine will be released directly into the brain. A worker (drawn as a side-profile head showing the brain) asks 'Questions?' A brown-haired woman asks 'Isn't this horrible?' The manager replies, 'Not from a revenue standpoint.' A bearded man asks 'Isn't this illegal?' The manager again says, 'Not from a revenue standpoint.' A bald bearded worker excitedly asks if coming in drunk would give him 'the best high ever,' and the manager stammers 'Uh... Well... I...' Final panel, captioned 'AND SO...': a red-haired man grins manically at a computer monitor while the manager stands behind him; the man exclaims, 'Formatting margins is how I taste God!' Votey: a rough close-up sketch of the red-haired man's blissful face, saying 'God tastes like blood.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.