a-plan
Original: a-plan on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman: Dear Lord, is it true that you have a plan for everyone?
Panel 2:
God (a glowing golden disc): Yes, but the details are left to human beings. The grand sweep of things is according to my design, but I permit you free will so that—
Panel 3:
Woman: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Panel 4:
Woman: So, if the details don't matter, could you swap my plan with Sally Jenkins' plan? From your perspective, we're pretty much identical, but she has a pony, and all I've got is these bullshit hamsters.
Panel 5:
God (golden disc): That doesn't seem fair to Sally.
Panel 6:
Woman (angry): Which BY DEFINITION means that it's UNFAIR to ME.
Panel 7 (woman stands with arms crossed, scowling)
Panel 8:
God (golden disc, to a blond child): Sally, I need your pony.
Sally: Why?
God: Test of faith.
Votey:
Handwritten text: Pleeeease can I have the pony?
(Below, two small abstract triangular pony-ear shapes / a sad cartoon face is suggested by simple curved and triangular line shapes.)
Woman: Dear Lord, is it true that you have a plan for everyone?
Panel 2:
God (a glowing golden disc): Yes, but the details are left to human beings. The grand sweep of things is according to my design, but I permit you free will so that—
Panel 3:
Woman: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Panel 4:
Woman: So, if the details don't matter, could you swap my plan with Sally Jenkins' plan? From your perspective, we're pretty much identical, but she has a pony, and all I've got is these bullshit hamsters.
Panel 5:
God (golden disc): That doesn't seem fair to Sally.
Panel 6:
Woman (angry): Which BY DEFINITION means that it's UNFAIR to ME.
Panel 7 (woman stands with arms crossed, scowling)
Panel 8:
God (golden disc, to a blond child): Sally, I need your pony.
Sally: Why?
God: Test of faith.
Votey:
Handwritten text: Pleeeease can I have the pony?
(Below, two small abstract triangular pony-ear shapes / a sad cartoon face is suggested by simple curved and triangular line shapes.)
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. A brown-haired woman prays to God, who appears as a glowing golden disc. She asks if it's true God has a plan for everyone. God says yes, but the details are left to humans: the grand sweep follows his design while he permits free will, so that— The woman cuts him off: "Yeah, yeah, yeah." She asks him to swap her life-plan with Sally Jenkins', since from God's perspective they're nearly identical, except Sally has a pony and she only has "these bullshit hamsters" (two small hamsters sit on her shoulders). God replies that swapping wouldn't seem fair to Sally. The woman, now furious and arms crossed, snaps that this BY DEFINITION means it's UNFAIR to HER. In the final panel God appears before a blond child, Sally, saying "Sally, I need your pony." Sally asks "Why?" and God answers "Test of faith." The joke: God caves to the complainer and confiscates the innocent child's pony, rationalizing it as a spiritual test. Votey panel: a hand-lettered, pleading message reads "Pleeeease can I have the pony?" with crude little shapes suggesting a hopeful, sad face — the woman begging for what isn't hers.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.