correlation-chains
Original: correlation-chains on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title: FUNTIME ACTIVITY: CORRELATION CHAINS!
Chart 1: A pink line curving upward (positive correlation).
Y-axis: HAPPINESS
X-axis: AMOUNT OF SEX
Chart 2: A green line rising upward.
Y-axis: INCOME
X-axis: HAPPINESS
Chart 3: A light blue line rising upward.
Y-axis: LIKELIHOOD OF OWNING A SIGNED COPY OF A HARRY POTTER NOVEL
X-axis: INCOME
Chart 4: A dark line rising steeply upward.
Y-axis: LIKELIHOOD THAT YOU ARE, IN FACT, J.K. ROWLING
X-axis: NUMBER OF YOUR POSSESSIONS THAT J.K. ROWLING HAS TOUCHED
RESULT:
Panel (final): A man with red hair leans toward a woman with purple hair.
Man: HEY. I WANNA COME HOME WITH ME TONIGHT?
Woman: REALLY?
Man: YEAH, I WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WITH HERMIONE'S KIDS.
Votey:
Handwritten text in a decorative script:
"Ten points to anyone who uses this as a pickup line."
Chart 1: A pink line curving upward (positive correlation).
Y-axis: HAPPINESS
X-axis: AMOUNT OF SEX
Chart 2: A green line rising upward.
Y-axis: INCOME
X-axis: HAPPINESS
Chart 3: A light blue line rising upward.
Y-axis: LIKELIHOOD OF OWNING A SIGNED COPY OF A HARRY POTTER NOVEL
X-axis: INCOME
Chart 4: A dark line rising steeply upward.
Y-axis: LIKELIHOOD THAT YOU ARE, IN FACT, J.K. ROWLING
X-axis: NUMBER OF YOUR POSSESSIONS THAT J.K. ROWLING HAS TOUCHED
RESULT:
Panel (final): A man with red hair leans toward a woman with purple hair.
Man: HEY. I WANNA COME HOME WITH ME TONIGHT?
Woman: REALLY?
Man: YEAH, I WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WITH HERMIONE'S KIDS.
Votey:
Handwritten text in a decorative script:
"Ten points to anyone who uses this as a pickup line."
Alt text
An SMBC comic titled 'FUNTIME ACTIVITY: CORRELATION CHAINS!' shows a stack of four line graphs, each one chaining the y-axis of the previous into the x-axis of the next. Graph 1: happiness rises with amount of sex. Graph 2: income rises with happiness. Graph 3: likelihood of owning a signed copy of a Harry Potter novel rises with income. Graph 4: likelihood that you are, in fact, J.K. Rowling rises with the number of your possessions that J.K. Rowling has touched. Under 'RESULT', a red-haired man leans toward a purple-haired woman and says, 'Hey. I wanna come home with me tonight?' She replies, 'Really?' He says, 'Yeah, I wanna know what happens with Hermione's kids.' The chained correlations have absurdly led to a pickup line implying the man thinks he might be J.K. Rowling. Votey: handwritten decorative script reads, 'Ten points to anyone who uses this as a pickup line.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.