thank-you-for-the-sex

Title: A GUIDE TO WRITING A THANKYOU CARD FOR SEX

The comic is formatted as an instructional guide with numbered parts, each giving a directive and an "Ex:" (example) of card text.

PART 1: INTRODUCTION.
Ex:
-DEAR SPOUSE,
-DEAREST SIGNIFICANT OTHER,
-FELLOW HUMAN,

PART 2: DESCRIBE WHAT YOU ARE THANKFUL FOR.
Ex:
-I WISH TO EXPRESS MY EARNEST APPRECIATION FOR THE EROTIC INTERACTION WE SHARED.
-I WAS PROFOUNDLY MOVED BY YOUR STIMULATION OF VARIOUS GLANDS AND/OR ORGANS.
-WOW. WHAT A SEX.

PART 3: TAKE CARE TO REFERENCE THE TIME AND/OR LOCATION TO MAKE THE CARD MORE PERSONAL.
Ex:
-I APPRECIATED MINUTES 2,4 AND 5-10 OF THE SEX WE HAD.
-I WISH TO EXPRESS MY GRATITUDE FOR THE VARIOUS INTERACTIONS WE SHARED BETWEEN 11:03 AND 11:07 PM OF NOVEMBER 3RD WHILE WAITING FOR YOUR DOWNLOAD TO COMPLETE.
-THE GIRTH (INCREASING LENGTH) OF SITCOM COMMERCIALS WAS MEANT A GREAT DEAL TO ME AND TO MY SEX LIFE.

PART 4: APOLOGIZE FOR ANY WAYS IN WHICH YOU WERE DEFICIENT.
Ex:
-IN RETROSPECT, I SHOULD HAVE ANSWERED THAT TEXT IN A MORE SUBTLE MANNER.
-AS I EXPLAINED THROUGH THE BATHROOM DOOR, I AM TERRIBLE WITH NAMES.
-I RECOGNIZE NOW THAT THE HELICOPTER PROVIDES NO MOTIVE FORCE.

PART 5: COMPLIMENT THEIR EFFORTS.
Ex:
-YOUR ACTIONS AND PHYSICAL FORM WERE ENTIRELY SATISFACTORY.
-YOUR BUTTOCKS CONTINUE TO BE A SOURCE OF INSPIRATION.
-THE DILIGENCE WITH WHICH YOU PURSUED YOUR OWN ORGASM REMINDED ME OF THE PATIENCE AND DETERMINATION OF A SKILLED FOXHUNTER.

PART 6: DESCRIBE HOW THE EXPERIENCE WILL BE USEFUL FOR FUTURE ENDEAVORS.
Ex:
-EACH SUCH ENCOUNTER HELPS PREPARE ME FOR SIMILAR FUTURE ENGAGEMENTS.
-I NOW HAVE A FULLER SENSE OF MY DEFICIENCIES.
-ALTHOUGH I NOW FEEL I HAVE NO HOME, I ALSO FEEL I HAVE NO SEX. I SAIL FAR AHEAD, AT FIRST LIGHT.

PART 7: VALEDICTION.
Ex:
-WITH DEEP GRATITUDE,
-WITH LUST TEMPERED BY REMORSE,
-WE WERE WRONG. TERRIBLY WRONG. WE OWE IT TO FUTURE GENERATIONS TO EXPLAIN WHY

Votey:
Handwritten text on a panel reads: "COMICS ARE CANCELED"