e-stalking
Original: e-stalking on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman: Great! Since we're planning a first date, I should tell you something.
Man (Steve): I know you're planning to e-stalk me. Besides, that does it now.
Panel 2:
Woman: Well, go ahead. Try to find the real Steve Rawlings!
Steve: You see, I've created an entire botnet whose sole purpose is to go around the internet saying stupid things on comment boards.
Steve: I've been running it for ten years.
Panel 3:
Steve: All the while, the bots have been sharing insane political views, posting creepy comments on porn sites, and making cringeworthy overtures at young ladies.
Panel 4:
Steve: Of course, some of those posts actually were by me, but you'll be unable to tell one from the other!
Woman: Which is the real Steve Rawlings? And which is just another machine?!
Panel 5:
Steve: Welcome to the hall of mirrors, Sally! Welcome to the hall of mirrors.
Panel 6:
Woman (Sally), looking at a laptop: It must be so hard for me to find love in the internet era.
Steve (on laptop screen): How do you account for information anxiety in the old days?
Votey:
Sally (close-up, determined, gritted teeth): I WILL WIN THIS DATE.
Woman: Great! Since we're planning a first date, I should tell you something.
Man (Steve): I know you're planning to e-stalk me. Besides, that does it now.
Panel 2:
Woman: Well, go ahead. Try to find the real Steve Rawlings!
Steve: You see, I've created an entire botnet whose sole purpose is to go around the internet saying stupid things on comment boards.
Steve: I've been running it for ten years.
Panel 3:
Steve: All the while, the bots have been sharing insane political views, posting creepy comments on porn sites, and making cringeworthy overtures at young ladies.
Panel 4:
Steve: Of course, some of those posts actually were by me, but you'll be unable to tell one from the other!
Woman: Which is the real Steve Rawlings? And which is just another machine?!
Panel 5:
Steve: Welcome to the hall of mirrors, Sally! Welcome to the hall of mirrors.
Panel 6:
Woman (Sally), looking at a laptop: It must be so hard for me to find love in the internet era.
Steve (on laptop screen): How do you account for information anxiety in the old days?
Votey:
Sally (close-up, determined, gritted teeth): I WILL WIN THIS DATE.
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic about online dating and digital identity. A man named Steve Rawlings tells a woman (Sally) he is planning a first date with that he has created a botnet whose sole purpose is to post stupid, insane political, creepy, and cringeworthy things across the internet for ten years. He explains that some of those posts were genuinely by him, so she will be unable to tell which posts are the real Steve and which are machines. He declares, 'Welcome to the hall of mirrors, Sally!' In the final panel Sally looks at a laptop musing that it is hard to find love in the internet era, while Steve's face on the screen asks how she accounts for information anxiety in the old days. Votey: a close-up of Sally's face, brow furrowed and teeth gritted in fierce determination, with the caption 'I WILL WIN THIS DATE.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.