uplifting-news
Original: uplifting-news on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Caption (yellow banner across top): NEW LAW: ALL NEWS MUST COME WITH AN UPLIFTING SPIN
News anchor (a man in a gray suit with a red tie, seated at a desk): "A rogue black hole has entered the solar system, consuming all celestial bodies as it hurtles toward the sun, rendering it much easier to memorize all the planets."
Votey:
Handwritten note reading the planetary mnemonic, which breaks down partway through:
"My
Very
Educated
Moth AAAAH!!"
(The line that should read "Mother" trails off into a scream.)
News anchor (a man in a gray suit with a red tie, seated at a desk): "A rogue black hole has entered the solar system, consuming all celestial bodies as it hurtles toward the sun, rendering it much easier to memorize all the planets."
Votey:
Handwritten note reading the planetary mnemonic, which breaks down partway through:
"My
Very
Educated
Moth AAAAH!!"
(The line that should read "Mother" trails off into a scream.)
Alt text
A single-panel comic. A yellow banner across the top reads: "NEW LAW: ALL NEWS MUST COME WITH AN UPLIFTING SPIN." Below, a news anchor in a gray suit and red tie sits calmly at a desk, smiling slightly, and says in a speech bubble: "A rogue black hole has entered the solar system, consuming all celestial bodies as it hurtles toward the sun, rendering it much easier to memorize all the planets." The joke: catastrophic news is delivered with an absurdly forced silver lining. Votey (aftercomic): a hand-drawn note showing the classic planet mnemonic "My Very Educated Mother..." but the word "Mother" cuts off into a panicked scream rendered in jagged letters: "My / Very / Educated / Moth-AAAAH!!" implying the speaker is being consumed by the black hole mid-recitation.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.