i-object
Original: i-object on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: An officiant at a wedding addresses the gathering.
Officiant: "If anyone objects to this marriage, let them speak now."
A woman with dark hair in the congregation interjects.
Woman: "That's not a statistically sound approach to making objections!"
Panel 2 (the woman lecturing):
Woman: "Objection isn't binary! It's a spectrum!"
Panel 3:
Woman: "If you asked everyone in this church, they'd probably each have some level of objection between zero and a hundred."
Panel 4:
Woman: "By forcing us to make a choice between yes-objection and no-objection, you're tilting things in favor of the marriage going forth."
Panel 5:
Woman: "Really, you should get a distribution of everyone's objection, then see how far we deviate from the typical marriage-objection distribution."
Panel 6: The officiant responds.
Officiant: "If anyone's objection to this marriage is greater than three sigma, speak now!"
Panel 7:
Officiant: "Very well. The marriage may proceed."
Panel 8: The woman is approached.
A bystander: "Do we know you?"
Panel 9: The woman flees, cape flying.
Woman: "ROGUE STATISTICIAN AWAYYYYYY!"
Votey:
A close-up of the rogue statistician's face in a speech bubble.
Woman: "It's unlikely that you can stop me!"
Officiant: "If anyone objects to this marriage, let them speak now."
A woman with dark hair in the congregation interjects.
Woman: "That's not a statistically sound approach to making objections!"
Panel 2 (the woman lecturing):
Woman: "Objection isn't binary! It's a spectrum!"
Panel 3:
Woman: "If you asked everyone in this church, they'd probably each have some level of objection between zero and a hundred."
Panel 4:
Woman: "By forcing us to make a choice between yes-objection and no-objection, you're tilting things in favor of the marriage going forth."
Panel 5:
Woman: "Really, you should get a distribution of everyone's objection, then see how far we deviate from the typical marriage-objection distribution."
Panel 6: The officiant responds.
Officiant: "If anyone's objection to this marriage is greater than three sigma, speak now!"
Panel 7:
Officiant: "Very well. The marriage may proceed."
Panel 8: The woman is approached.
A bystander: "Do we know you?"
Panel 9: The woman flees, cape flying.
Woman: "ROGUE STATISTICIAN AWAYYYYYY!"
Votey:
A close-up of the rogue statistician's face in a speech bubble.
Woman: "It's unlikely that you can stop me!"
Alt text
A nine-panel SMBC comic set at a wedding. As the officiant says, "If anyone objects to this marriage, let them speak now," a dark-haired woman in the congregation jumps in: "That's not a statistically sound approach to making objections!" She launches into a lecture: objection isn't binary, it's a spectrum; everyone in the church probably has some level of objection between zero and a hundred; forcing a yes/no choice tilts things in favor of the marriage; instead you should get a distribution of everyone's objection and see how far it deviates from the typical marriage-objection distribution. The officiant adapts: "If anyone's objection to this marriage is greater than three sigma, speak now!" then, after silence, "Very well. The marriage may proceed." A bystander asks the woman, "Do we know you?" and she flees with a cape billowing, shouting "ROGUE STATISTICIAN AWAYYYYYY!" Votey: a hand-drawn close-up of the rogue statistician's wide-eyed face in a speech bubble saying, "It's unlikely that you can stop me!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.