platitudes
Original: platitudes on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (politician at a podium, addressing a crowd):
Politician: Okay, listen. I know you citizens are sick of politicians peddling lies and platitudes. Well, so am I. It's time I give you the TRUTH.
Panel 2 (politician at podium, pointing):
Politician: When I can take a person— a strong, willful person— and make that person obey my commands, I experience a pleasure that is sensual, to the point of being EROTIC.
Panel 3 (a person in a lab coat hangs a banner reading "CONGR[ATS]" while wearing a party hat and blowing a noisemaker, next to a smiling person in a party hat — a celebration / flashback scene):
(no dialogue)
Panel 4 (close-up row of audience members — a woman, a bald bearded man, a person with dark hair, a man with red hair, a man with brown hair — all watching with neutral, slightly unsettled expressions):
(no dialogue)
Panel 5 (the politician, now shown in close-up):
Politician: And THAT is why I am running for president of the United States.
Panel 6 (politician as a silhouette at the podium pointing at a cheering crowd of silhouettes raising fists and signs):
Politician: I mean... the system is corrupt and I'm here to clean house!
Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYY!
Votey:
The politician's face in close-up, looking flushed and overwhelmed. A thought bubble next to him reads: "Sooo sexy..."
Politician: Okay, listen. I know you citizens are sick of politicians peddling lies and platitudes. Well, so am I. It's time I give you the TRUTH.
Panel 2 (politician at podium, pointing):
Politician: When I can take a person— a strong, willful person— and make that person obey my commands, I experience a pleasure that is sensual, to the point of being EROTIC.
Panel 3 (a person in a lab coat hangs a banner reading "CONGR[ATS]" while wearing a party hat and blowing a noisemaker, next to a smiling person in a party hat — a celebration / flashback scene):
(no dialogue)
Panel 4 (close-up row of audience members — a woman, a bald bearded man, a person with dark hair, a man with red hair, a man with brown hair — all watching with neutral, slightly unsettled expressions):
(no dialogue)
Panel 5 (the politician, now shown in close-up):
Politician: And THAT is why I am running for president of the United States.
Panel 6 (politician as a silhouette at the podium pointing at a cheering crowd of silhouettes raising fists and signs):
Politician: I mean... the system is corrupt and I'm here to clean house!
Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYY!
Votey:
The politician's face in close-up, looking flushed and overwhelmed. A thought bubble next to him reads: "Sooo sexy..."
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A clean-cut politician stands at a podium giving a campaign speech. Panel 1: he says he knows citizens are sick of politicians peddling lies and platitudes, and promises to give them the truth. Panel 2, pointing earnestly: he explains that when he can take a strong, willful person and make them obey his commands, he experiences a pleasure that is sensual, to the point of being erotic. A flashback-style panel shows a person in a lab coat happily hanging a "Congrats" banner while wearing a party hat. A row of audience members watch with neutral, faintly disturbed faces. The politician concludes: "And THAT is why I am running for president of the United States." In the final panel, shown as a silhouette at the podium, he shouts "I mean... the system is corrupt and I'm here to clean house!" and the crowd of silhouettes erupts cheering "YAYYYYYYYYY!" — the joke being he just openly admitted to an erotic lust for power and the audience only registered the generic anti-corruption slogan. Votey: a close-up of the politician's flushed, overwhelmed face with a thought bubble reading "Sooo sexy...", revealing he's still aroused by the power.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.