realistic-adultery-parameters
Original: realistic-adultery-parameters on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman with long dark hair: BABY, WOULD YOU EVER CHEAT ON ME?
Woman with reddish-brown hair and glasses: YES, ABSOLUTELY.
Panel 2:
Woman with dark hair: WHAT?
Woman with glasses: WOULD I EVER CHEAT ON YOU? LIKE, IN THE INFINITE SPACE OF POSSIBLE BEHAVIORS I MIGHT ENGAGE IN, DO ANY OF THEM INVOLVE CHEATING ON YOU?
Panel 3:
Woman with glasses: OF COURSE! I CAN THINK OF TWENTY SCENARIOS OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD! I'D CHEAT ON YOU TO STOP HITLER. I'D CHEAT ON YOU TO SAVE A BABY. I'D CHEAT ON YOU TO END A PANDEMIC.
Panel 4:
Woman with glasses: CHEAT ON YOU TO INCREASE NASA FUNDING. CHEAT ON YOU FOR THE FORMULA TO ROOM TEMPERATURE SUPERCONDUCTORS. CHEAT ON YOU TO BRING BACK STEGOSAURUS. CHEAT ON YOU TO—
Woman with dark hair (interrupting): OKAY.
Panel 5:
Woman with dark hair: I MEAN... ARE THERE ANY LIKELY SCENARIOS, GIVEN THE AVAILABLE INFORMATION ABOUT THE NEARTERM, IN WHICH YOU CHEAT ON ME.
Panel 6:
Woman with glasses (now looking worried/strained): NEVER, BABY. NEVER.
Votey:
A close-up of the glasses-wearing woman's face with wide, nervous eyes. Speech bubble: PROBABLY NEVER
Woman with long dark hair: BABY, WOULD YOU EVER CHEAT ON ME?
Woman with reddish-brown hair and glasses: YES, ABSOLUTELY.
Panel 2:
Woman with dark hair: WHAT?
Woman with glasses: WOULD I EVER CHEAT ON YOU? LIKE, IN THE INFINITE SPACE OF POSSIBLE BEHAVIORS I MIGHT ENGAGE IN, DO ANY OF THEM INVOLVE CHEATING ON YOU?
Panel 3:
Woman with glasses: OF COURSE! I CAN THINK OF TWENTY SCENARIOS OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD! I'D CHEAT ON YOU TO STOP HITLER. I'D CHEAT ON YOU TO SAVE A BABY. I'D CHEAT ON YOU TO END A PANDEMIC.
Panel 4:
Woman with glasses: CHEAT ON YOU TO INCREASE NASA FUNDING. CHEAT ON YOU FOR THE FORMULA TO ROOM TEMPERATURE SUPERCONDUCTORS. CHEAT ON YOU TO BRING BACK STEGOSAURUS. CHEAT ON YOU TO—
Woman with dark hair (interrupting): OKAY.
Panel 5:
Woman with dark hair: I MEAN... ARE THERE ANY LIKELY SCENARIOS, GIVEN THE AVAILABLE INFORMATION ABOUT THE NEARTERM, IN WHICH YOU CHEAT ON ME.
Panel 6:
Woman with glasses (now looking worried/strained): NEVER, BABY. NEVER.
Votey:
A close-up of the glasses-wearing woman's face with wide, nervous eyes. Speech bubble: PROBABLY NEVER
Alt text
A six-panel comic. A woman with long dark hair asks her partner, a woman with reddish-brown hair and glasses, 'Baby, would you ever cheat on me?' The partner cheerfully replies, 'Yes, absolutely.' Shocked, the dark-haired woman says 'What?' The partner explains that in the infinite space of possible behaviors, some involve cheating: she'd cheat to stop Hitler, to save a baby, to end a pandemic, to increase NASA funding, to get room-temperature superconductors, to bring back the stegosaurus, and on and on, until the dark-haired woman cuts her off with 'Okay.' She clarifies: 'I mean... are there any likely scenarios, given the available information about the near-term, in which you cheat on me.' In the final panel the glasses-wearing partner, now looking nervous and strained, says 'Never, baby. Never.' Votey: a close-up of the glasses-wearing woman's wide, anxious eyes as she adds, 'Probably never.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.