parenting-by-the-books
Original: parenting-by-the-books on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (woman with dark hair, speaking): If I don't feed the baby the right food, she'll be a well-adjusted adult.
Panel 2 (woman, speaking): If I don't read her the right books, she'll be an emotionally hollow adult.
Panel 3 (man, speaking): If I don't sing her the right songs, she'll be a stressed adult.
Panel 4 (woman, speaking): If I don't play her the right media, she'll be a depressed adult.
Panel 5 (a child, asking): Why are your parents miserable all the time?
Panel 6 (a woman/young person replying): Oh, I think that's just what it's like when you grow up.
Votey:
A woman, speaking in a large speech bubble: Pity the poor upgrowers.
Panel 2 (woman, speaking): If I don't read her the right books, she'll be an emotionally hollow adult.
Panel 3 (man, speaking): If I don't sing her the right songs, she'll be a stressed adult.
Panel 4 (woman, speaking): If I don't play her the right media, she'll be a depressed adult.
Panel 5 (a child, asking): Why are your parents miserable all the time?
Panel 6 (a woman/young person replying): Oh, I think that's just what it's like when you grow up.
Votey:
A woman, speaking in a large speech bubble: Pity the poor upgrowers.
Alt text
A six-panel comic about anxious parenting. In the first four panels, parents each voice a fear that doing the right thing will somehow ruin their child: 'If I don't feed the baby the right food, she'll be a well-adjusted adult,' 'If I don't read her the right books, she'll be an emotionally hollow adult,' 'If I don't sing her the right songs, she'll be a stressed adult,' 'If I don't play her the right media, she'll be a depressed adult' — the statements are inverted, treating positive outcomes as disasters. In the final two panels a child asks another person, 'Why are your parents miserable all the time?' and gets the reply, 'Oh, I think that's just what it's like when you grow up.' Votey: A close-up of a woman with a large speech bubble saying, 'Pity the poor upgrowers' — coining a term for adults as people who have 'grown up,' framing them as objects of pity.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.