2015-03-03
Original: 2015-03-03 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Gandalf-like wizard: Frodo! The ring must be destroyed! You must take the ring to Mount Doom, where--
Frodo-like figure (interrupting): Mount Doom??
Panel 2:
Wizard: I am NOT traveling all that way. Look, I already took care of it last week.
Panel 3:
Wizard (gesturing to a box): This box is filled with stuff that came off my teeth while flossing. Mostly it's the white goo that you get when you bite a lot of sugar. I just dropped the ring in there.
Panel 4:
Wizard: Go ahead! Fish it out! Unlimited power! Just stick your hand in there!
Panel 5:
Frodo-like figure (uneasy): That's what I thought.
Votey:
A curly-haired woman (speech bubble): This could be a movie trilogy!
Gandalf-like wizard: Frodo! The ring must be destroyed! You must take the ring to Mount Doom, where--
Frodo-like figure (interrupting): Mount Doom??
Panel 2:
Wizard: I am NOT traveling all that way. Look, I already took care of it last week.
Panel 3:
Wizard (gesturing to a box): This box is filled with stuff that came off my teeth while flossing. Mostly it's the white goo that you get when you bite a lot of sugar. I just dropped the ring in there.
Panel 4:
Wizard: Go ahead! Fish it out! Unlimited power! Just stick your hand in there!
Panel 5:
Frodo-like figure (uneasy): That's what I thought.
Votey:
A curly-haired woman (speech bubble): This could be a movie trilogy!
Alt text
A parody of Lord of the Rings drawn in SMBC style. A Gandalf-like wizard tells a Frodo-like figure that the ring must be destroyed by taking it to Mount Doom; Frodo balks at the distance. The wizard says he already handled it last week: he gestures to a box and explains it's filled with gunk that came off his teeth while flossing--mostly the white goo you get from eating a lot of sugar--and he just dropped the ring in there. He dares Frodo to reach in for the unlimited power, sticking his hand into the disgusting box. Frodo, looking queasy, declines: 'That's what I thought.' The joke is that no one would willingly retrieve the ring from something that gross, so it's effectively destroyed. Votey: a curly-haired woman grins and says, 'This could be a movie trilogy!'--mocking how such a tiny premise gets stretched into an epic franchise.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.