2015-01-01
Original: 2015-01-01 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A girl prays.
Girl: DEAR ZEUS, PLEASE HELP MY DADDY STOP BEING SAD. I TRIED PRAYING TO OTHER DEITIES, BUT NOTHING HAPPENED.
Panel 2: Zeus (a bearded figure) replies; the girl looks up.
Zeus: YEAH, HEY KID, LISTEN. I BASICALLY HAVE TWO POWERS: LIGHTNING, AND TURNING INTO PLANTS AND ANIMALS FOR EROTIC PURPOSES.
Girl: WOULD EITHER OF THOSE HELP?
Zeus: ONE SEC.
Panel 3: The girl approaches her father, who sits in a chair.
Girl: DADDY DO YOU LIKE SWANS?
Father: SURE?
Girl: I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!
Panels 4-6 (wordless): A series of panels showing the father sitting and reading a book in his chair.
Panel 7 (final, wordless): A large swan glides into view from the right toward the father.
Votey: Close-up of the swan with a sly, seductive expression, leaning in.
Swan (speech bubble): HONK.
Girl: DEAR ZEUS, PLEASE HELP MY DADDY STOP BEING SAD. I TRIED PRAYING TO OTHER DEITIES, BUT NOTHING HAPPENED.
Panel 2: Zeus (a bearded figure) replies; the girl looks up.
Zeus: YEAH, HEY KID, LISTEN. I BASICALLY HAVE TWO POWERS: LIGHTNING, AND TURNING INTO PLANTS AND ANIMALS FOR EROTIC PURPOSES.
Girl: WOULD EITHER OF THOSE HELP?
Zeus: ONE SEC.
Panel 3: The girl approaches her father, who sits in a chair.
Girl: DADDY DO YOU LIKE SWANS?
Father: SURE?
Girl: I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!
Panels 4-6 (wordless): A series of panels showing the father sitting and reading a book in his chair.
Panel 7 (final, wordless): A large swan glides into view from the right toward the father.
Votey: Close-up of the swan with a sly, seductive expression, leaning in.
Swan (speech bubble): HONK.
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. A young girl prays: 'Dear Zeus, please help my daddy stop being sad. I tried praying to other deities, but nothing happened.' Zeus, a bearded figure, answers: 'Yeah, hey kid, listen. I basically have two powers: lightning, and turning into plants and animals for erotic purposes.' The girl asks, 'Would either of those help?' Zeus says, 'One sec.' The girl goes to her father, sitting in a chair, and asks, 'Daddy do you like swans?' He replies 'Sure?' and she says 'I'll be right back!' Several wordless panels show the dad calmly reading a book in his chair, until a large swan glides in toward him. The joke: Zeus, mythologically known for transforming into a swan to seduce mortals, is the swan. Votey (aftercomic): A close-up of the swan with a sly, seductive, half-lidded expression, leaning in and saying 'HONK.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.