2014-10-02
Original: 2014-10-02 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (caption): Instant messaging services were originally designed to facilitate long distance communication.
[A network of glowing lines connecting points across a dark map.]
Panel 2 (caption): Eventually, they become a new form of laziness.
[A person at a computer chatting with another.]
Person A: Hey, what do you want to watch?
Person B: I'm right next to you.
Person A: Too lazy to open my mouth. :/
Panel 3 (caption): Today, engineers are working on long distance sex.
Engineer A: Basically, you stick your wiener in this socket. Then, on the [cut off]
Engineer B: Shhh! You had me at "stick your wiener in."
[Two engineers examining equipment with a yellow socket device.]
Panel 4 (caption): This would be nice for long distance relationships.
Man: Aw! Damn. Sorry baby.
Woman: Pfff! It's just like I'm really there!
[A man and woman seated together.]
Panel 5 (caption): But the innotech consequences are a bit ominous.
Woman: Hey! Wanna come up for sex?
Man: Nah. I can do it from here.
[A woman speaking to a man.]
Votey:
[A person lying in bed, thinking.]
Thought bubble: UTOPIA...
[A network of glowing lines connecting points across a dark map.]
Panel 2 (caption): Eventually, they become a new form of laziness.
[A person at a computer chatting with another.]
Person A: Hey, what do you want to watch?
Person B: I'm right next to you.
Person A: Too lazy to open my mouth. :/
Panel 3 (caption): Today, engineers are working on long distance sex.
Engineer A: Basically, you stick your wiener in this socket. Then, on the [cut off]
Engineer B: Shhh! You had me at "stick your wiener in."
[Two engineers examining equipment with a yellow socket device.]
Panel 4 (caption): This would be nice for long distance relationships.
Man: Aw! Damn. Sorry baby.
Woman: Pfff! It's just like I'm really there!
[A man and woman seated together.]
Panel 5 (caption): But the innotech consequences are a bit ominous.
Woman: Hey! Wanna come up for sex?
Man: Nah. I can do it from here.
[A woman speaking to a man.]
Votey:
[A person lying in bed, thinking.]
Thought bubble: UTOPIA...
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic tracing the evolution of instant messaging. Panel 1, captioned that IM was originally designed to facilitate long distance communication, shows glowing lines connecting points across a dark world map. Panel 2, captioned that they eventually became a new form of laziness, shows two people sitting side by side at a computer; one types 'Hey, what do you want to watch?' and the other replies 'I'm right next to you,' answered with 'Too lazy to open my mouth. :/'. Panel 3, captioned that today engineers are working on long distance sex, shows two engineers with a yellow socket device; one says 'Basically, you stick your wiener in this socket,' and the other cuts him off with 'Shhh! You had me at "stick your wiener in."' Panel 4, captioned that this would be nice for long distance relationships, shows a couple where the man says 'Aw! Damn. Sorry baby,' and the woman replies 'Pfff! It's just like I'm really there!' Panel 5, captioned that the innotech consequences are a bit ominous, shows a woman asking 'Hey! Wanna come up for sex?' and a man replying 'Nah. I can do it from here.' Votey: a person lying in bed with a contented expression, thinking a single word in a thought bubble: 'UTOPIA...'.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.