2014-05-24
Original: 2014-05-24 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man in a hat (a vendor): Hey kid, you wanna buy the hat Lincoln wore at the Battle of Fort Dearborn?
Boy: Sure, mister!
Adult man (a teacher, dark suit): WRONG!
Panel 2:
Boy: Mister Gutter?
Mister Gutter (teacher): The Battle of Fort Dearborn happened in the War of 1812. In fact, the fort was decommissioned 23 years before the Civil War.
Panel 3:
Mister Gutter (leaning in, intense): You fucked up, Billy. You fucked up, hard.
Panel 4 (caption: LATER.):
Woman: Billy! How'd you get an F in history?
Billy: You wouldn't believe me!
Votey:
Handwritten on a graded paper:
Billy Jones
Grade: F
Notes:
Fucked up hard.
Man in a hat (a vendor): Hey kid, you wanna buy the hat Lincoln wore at the Battle of Fort Dearborn?
Boy: Sure, mister!
Adult man (a teacher, dark suit): WRONG!
Panel 2:
Boy: Mister Gutter?
Mister Gutter (teacher): The Battle of Fort Dearborn happened in the War of 1812. In fact, the fort was decommissioned 23 years before the Civil War.
Panel 3:
Mister Gutter (leaning in, intense): You fucked up, Billy. You fucked up, hard.
Panel 4 (caption: LATER.):
Woman: Billy! How'd you get an F in history?
Billy: You wouldn't believe me!
Votey:
Handwritten on a graded paper:
Billy Jones
Grade: F
Notes:
Fucked up hard.
Alt text
A four-panel comic. Panel 1: A man in a hat asks a young boy, "Hey kid, you wanna buy the hat Lincoln wore at the Battle of Fort Dearborn?" The boy says "Sure, mister!" A dark-suited man interrupts off to the side, shouting "WRONG!" Panel 2: The boy, surprised, says "Mister Gutter?" The suited teacher, Mister Gutter, explains: "The Battle of Fort Dearborn happened in the War of 1812. In fact, the fort was decommissioned 23 years before the Civil War." Panel 3: Mister Gutter leans in close with an intense expression and says, "You fucked up, Billy. You fucked up, hard." Panel 4, captioned LATER: A woman asks, "Billy! How'd you get an F in history?" Billy replies, "You wouldn't believe me!" The joke: a stranger's offhand history-flavored sales pitch turns out to be a surprise pop-quiz from a teacher who fails the kid for going along with it. Votey (aftercomic): A handwritten graded paper reads "Billy Jones / Grade: F / Notes: Fucked up hard." with "hard" underlined.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.