2014-02-23

An eight-panel comic. A green-skinned alien delivers a report. Panel 1: "I went to 'Earth' for the humans, but was horrified." The alien lists Earth's problems across the next panels: "Their oceans are polluted." / "Their skies are smoggy." / "They've killed millions of species." / "Their own bodies are filthy with toxins." The alien concludes: "In short... now would be a bad time to turn them into soup." Then, brightening, it announces: "You survive another century, humans!" The final panel shows the alien at a spaceship console with Earth visible through the window — humanity has been spared from being turned into soup only because it has polluted itself too thoroughly to be appetizing. Votey (aftercomic): A man triumphantly raises his fist and declares, "America saves the world again!" — framing humanity's self-destructive pollution as an ironic victory.