2013-12-05
Original: 2013-12-05 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Scientist (a man in a lab coat with glasses, holding a beaker): Bobby, I've invented a robot. But it has no personality. No feelings. No soul.
Panel 2:
Scientist (off-panel, to a red-haired boy): By spending time with you, it will learn your ways and become less robot and more human.
Panel 3:
Boy: Hello Bobby.
Robot: So you have no feelings at all?
Panel 4:
Robot: Affirmative.
Panel 5:
Boy: So you wouldn't feel sad if you had no friends at school? Or if you didn't get what you want for Christmas? Or if your mom was too busy in her life to spend time with you?
Robot: Affirmative.
Panel 6 (caption: LATER):
Scientist: So, did you learn anything about personality?
Robot: Affirmative.
Votey:
Close-up of the robot, now with a face drawn on (eyes, eyebrows, a grinning mouth).
Text (robot's thought/declaration): SUCK ON THAT, CREATOR
Scientist (a man in a lab coat with glasses, holding a beaker): Bobby, I've invented a robot. But it has no personality. No feelings. No soul.
Panel 2:
Scientist (off-panel, to a red-haired boy): By spending time with you, it will learn your ways and become less robot and more human.
Panel 3:
Boy: Hello Bobby.
Robot: So you have no feelings at all?
Panel 4:
Robot: Affirmative.
Panel 5:
Boy: So you wouldn't feel sad if you had no friends at school? Or if you didn't get what you want for Christmas? Or if your mom was too busy in her life to spend time with you?
Robot: Affirmative.
Panel 6 (caption: LATER):
Scientist: So, did you learn anything about personality?
Robot: Affirmative.
Votey:
Close-up of the robot, now with a face drawn on (eyes, eyebrows, a grinning mouth).
Text (robot's thought/declaration): SUCK ON THAT, CREATOR
Alt text
A six-panel comic. Panel 1: A scientist in a lab coat and glasses, holding a beaker, says, "Bobby, I've invented a robot. But it has no personality. No feelings. No soul." Panel 2: He tells a red-haired boy that by spending time with the boy, the robot "will learn your ways and become less robot and more human." Panel 3: The boy greets the boxy robot, whose face is just two glowing green eyes: "Hello Bobby." The robot replies, "So you have no feelings at all?" Panel 4: Close-up of the robot's blank face. Robot: "Affirmative." Panel 5: The boy lists sad scenarios—having no friends at school, not getting what he wants for Christmas, his mom being too busy to spend time with him—asking if the robot wouldn't feel sad about them. Robot: "Affirmative." Panel 6, labeled LATER: The scientist asks, "So, did you learn anything about personality?" Robot: "Affirmative." The joke: the robot interviewed the depressed boy instead of the reverse, learning that having no feelings is preferable. Votey aftercomic: A close-up of the robot, now with a smug human-like face drawn on (eyes, raised eyebrows, a grin), declaring, "SUCK ON THAT, CREATOR."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.