2013-12-06
Original: 2013-12-06 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (exterior, a "SOLD" sign in front of a house at dusk):
Woman: Oh my gosh! This is amazing! I can't believe you bought this place!
Man: It's where you raised us! I couldn't bear for someone else to own it.
Panel 2 (the couple indoors, the woman wearing glasses):
Woman: Oh my gosh! Here's the kitchen where I packed your lunches!
Man: And here's the yard where you made mud pies!
Panel 3:
Woman: Here's the bedroom where you were conceived!
Man: Uh.
Panel 4:
Woman: Ooh! Here's the wall against which your big sister was conceived!
Man: I don't--
Panel 5:
Woman: And look! Here's the counter over which your little brother was conceived!
Man: Can you stop--
Panel 6:
Woman: Ow! It's the party room in which we watched Billy from next door be conceived!
Man: (stunned, wide-eyed silence)
Panel 7 (exterior of a different house with a "FOR SALE" sign in the yard).
Votey:
Woman (off-panel, only a sliver of her glasses-wearing face visible at lower left): There's the leather harness in which--
Man (in a large speech bubble): NOPE
Woman: Oh my gosh! This is amazing! I can't believe you bought this place!
Man: It's where you raised us! I couldn't bear for someone else to own it.
Panel 2 (the couple indoors, the woman wearing glasses):
Woman: Oh my gosh! Here's the kitchen where I packed your lunches!
Man: And here's the yard where you made mud pies!
Panel 3:
Woman: Here's the bedroom where you were conceived!
Man: Uh.
Panel 4:
Woman: Ooh! Here's the wall against which your big sister was conceived!
Man: I don't--
Panel 5:
Woman: And look! Here's the counter over which your little brother was conceived!
Man: Can you stop--
Panel 6:
Woman: Ow! It's the party room in which we watched Billy from next door be conceived!
Man: (stunned, wide-eyed silence)
Panel 7 (exterior of a different house with a "FOR SALE" sign in the yard).
Votey:
Woman (off-panel, only a sliver of her glasses-wearing face visible at lower left): There's the leather harness in which--
Man (in a large speech bubble): NOPE
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a house at dusk with a "SOLD" sign; a woman tells a man she can't believe he bought the place, and he says it's where she raised them and he couldn't bear for anyone else to own it. Inside, the bespectacled mother gives a nostalgic tour, but each room is increasingly inappropriate. Panel 2: the kitchen where she packed his lunches and the yard where he made mud pies. Panel 3: the bedroom where he was conceived (the son: "Uh."). Panel 4: the wall against which his big sister was conceived ("I don't--"). Panel 5: the counter over which his little brother was conceived ("Can you stop--"). Panel 6: the party room where they watched the neighbor kid Billy be conceived; the son stares in horrified silence. Panel 7: a different house, now with a "FOR SALE" sign in the yard, implying he's reselling. Votey (aftercomic): the mother begins, "There's the leather harness in which--" and the son cuts her off with an emphatic "NOPE" in a huge speech bubble.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.