2013-10-05
Original: 2013-10-05 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A woman with dark hair addresses a small group of people standing behind her.
Woman (dark hair): "Friends, ladies, roommates. I have discovered a container behind the couch. The top is firmly locked, but it is not factory sealed."
Panel 2: Close-up on the dark-haired woman holding up the container.
Woman: "It could be empty. It could be a substance that does not enrich it. It could contain some final substance of unspecified, dusky origin."
Panel 3: The woman, with the group still gathered.
Woman: "As the danger is unknown, I've placed it among four other containers, all of which hold only water. We three thereby remove containers over time. Let the chips fall where they may."
Panel 4: A red-haired woman in a green shirt steps forward.
Red-haired woman: "I'll go first."
Panel 5: Close-up of the red-haired woman drinking from a container. A small "glug" sound effect appears.
Panel 6: The dark-haired woman speaks to the red-haired woman, who has a distressed, twisted expression.
Dark-haired woman: "What do you call this anyway?"
Red-haired woman: "...Roulette de Bachelorette."
Red-haired woman (large distressed text): "HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST. YOGURT! ALL IS LOST."
Woman (dark hair): "Friends, ladies, roommates. I have discovered a container behind the couch. The top is firmly locked, but it is not factory sealed."
Panel 2: Close-up on the dark-haired woman holding up the container.
Woman: "It could be empty. It could be a substance that does not enrich it. It could contain some final substance of unspecified, dusky origin."
Panel 3: The woman, with the group still gathered.
Woman: "As the danger is unknown, I've placed it among four other containers, all of which hold only water. We three thereby remove containers over time. Let the chips fall where they may."
Panel 4: A red-haired woman in a green shirt steps forward.
Red-haired woman: "I'll go first."
Panel 5: Close-up of the red-haired woman drinking from a container. A small "glug" sound effect appears.
Panel 6: The dark-haired woman speaks to the red-haired woman, who has a distressed, twisted expression.
Dark-haired woman: "What do you call this anyway?"
Red-haired woman: "...Roulette de Bachelorette."
Red-haired woman (large distressed text): "HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST. YOGURT! ALL IS LOST."
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A dark-haired woman tells her gathered roommates she has found a locked, not-factory-sealed container behind the couch that could be empty, harmless, or hold some "final substance of unspecified, dusky origin." Because the danger is unknown, she has mixed it among four identical containers that hold only water, and the group will drink from the containers over time "and let the chips fall where they may" — a game she frames like Russian roulette. A red-haired woman in a green shirt volunteers to go first and takes a drink ("glug"). Her face twists in horror as she names the game "Roulette de Bachelorette" and screams in giant letters, "HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST. YOGURT! ALL IS LOST." Votey: an extreme close-up cartoon of a wide-open screaming mouth — white face, jagged fang-like teeth, drool, and brown hands gripping a surface in front of it — exaggerating the spoiled-yogurt horror.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.