2013-07-31
Original: 2013-07-31 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A man stands looking dejected in front of a classical columned building (a university).
Man: I failed to get tenure in philosophy. So, I quit.
Panel 2: The man, now wearing a striped shirt with a whistle around his neck, stands in a gym.
Man: I moved home. Now I teach middle school gym.
Panel 3: The man addresses a group of kids seated on bleachers.
Man: It's not the most rewarding job for a person of my training. But our cheers against the other teams are much more effective.
Panel 4: A cheerleading squad of kids raises their arms cheering. A girl holding a baseball bat looks alarmed.
Cheerleaders: O-H-W-E-L-L. What if you're dead and this is hell!?
Votey:
Text (overlapping a chant): 3-2-1, 1-2-3, death comes unexpectedLY!
A grinning kid's smiling face is shown in close-up.
Man: I failed to get tenure in philosophy. So, I quit.
Panel 2: The man, now wearing a striped shirt with a whistle around his neck, stands in a gym.
Man: I moved home. Now I teach middle school gym.
Panel 3: The man addresses a group of kids seated on bleachers.
Man: It's not the most rewarding job for a person of my training. But our cheers against the other teams are much more effective.
Panel 4: A cheerleading squad of kids raises their arms cheering. A girl holding a baseball bat looks alarmed.
Cheerleaders: O-H-W-E-L-L. What if you're dead and this is hell!?
Votey:
Text (overlapping a chant): 3-2-1, 1-2-3, death comes unexpectedLY!
A grinning kid's smiling face is shown in close-up.
Alt text
A four-panel comic. Panel 1: A glum man stands before a classical columned university building and says, "I failed to get tenure in philosophy. So, I quit." Panel 2: The same man, now in a striped shirt with a coach's whistle, stands in a gym: "I moved home. Now I teach middle school gym." Panel 3: He addresses kids on bleachers: "It's not the most rewarding job for a person of my training. But our cheers against the other teams are much more effective." Panel 4: A squad of child cheerleaders throws their arms up chanting, "O-H-W-E-L-L. What if you're dead and this is hell!?" while a girl holding a bat looks unsettled—the philosophy professor has turned his existential dread into demoralizing nihilist cheers. Votey: A grinning kid's face in close-up beneath the chant text "3-2-1, 1-2-3, death comes unexpectedLY!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.