2013-07-30
Original: 2013-07-30 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1
Title banner: SAINT ANSELM'S PROOF
Bearded man (Saint Anselm): God is the best possible being. Any being would be made better by existence. Therefore, the best possible being must be existent. Therefore, God exists.
Panel 2
Title banner: SAINT ANSELM'S COROLLARY
Bearded man (Saint Anselm), speaking to another man whose face appears at the right edge of the panel: It doesn't MATTER if you've never seen her. She's the best girlfriend ever. The best girlfriend ever would exist. Therefore, my girlfriend from Canada who's REALLY HOT exists, AND WE DO IT ALL THE TIME.
Votey:
The bearded man lies back with eyes closed and a satisfied expression.
Bearded man: Mmm... existence...
Title banner: SAINT ANSELM'S PROOF
Bearded man (Saint Anselm): God is the best possible being. Any being would be made better by existence. Therefore, the best possible being must be existent. Therefore, God exists.
Panel 2
Title banner: SAINT ANSELM'S COROLLARY
Bearded man (Saint Anselm), speaking to another man whose face appears at the right edge of the panel: It doesn't MATTER if you've never seen her. She's the best girlfriend ever. The best girlfriend ever would exist. Therefore, my girlfriend from Canada who's REALLY HOT exists, AND WE DO IT ALL THE TIME.
Votey:
The bearded man lies back with eyes closed and a satisfied expression.
Bearded man: Mmm... existence...
Alt text
A two-panel comic. Panel one is titled "SAINT ANSELM'S PROOF." A bald, bearded man in a yellow robe gestures and declares: "God is the best possible being. Any being would be made better by existence. Therefore, the best possible being must be existent. Therefore, God exists" — the medieval ontological argument. Panel two, titled "SAINT ANSELM'S COROLLARY," shows the same man talking to a skeptical man whose face peeks in from the right. He applies the same logic to claim: "It doesn't matter if you've never seen her. She's the best girlfriend ever. The best girlfriend ever would exist. Therefore, my girlfriend from Canada who's really hot exists, and we do it all the time" — the classic "my girlfriend goes to another school" excuse dressed up as philosophy. In the votey aftercomic, the bearded man lies back with eyes closed and a blissful, satisfied look, murmuring "Mmm... existence..."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.