2013-05-01
Original: 2013-05-01 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Young man (red-haired): You may have three wishes. I, Mwah Becdonan, djinn of the lamp, am here to grant them, and to change them.
Panel 2:
Young man: I wouldn't do that. Becdonan is a lesson. Each one is a chance to stand up higher.
Panel 3:
Young man: Without those embarrassments and accidents, I wouldn't be the man I am today, and I'm happy to be the present. And so I should not change the past.
Panel 4:
Green genie (Becdonan): Are you fucking nuts?
Panel 5:
Green genie: What are the odds that all that is true? By that logic, you'd be better off removing the dumb stuff you did!
Panel 6:
Green genie: By changing a couple days, almost every future life path you have becomes better in some way, with end-results no less meaningful, and all without changing your personality in a significant way!
Panel 7:
Green genie: It's like you mortals have STOCKHOLM SYNDROME with your own histories. Can't change anything proud, would change something proud, around age 17 or so?
Panel 8:
Young man (looking distressed): I wish in high school, I hadn't told... everyone... at the Taco Bell drive-thru...
Votey:
Young man (with a sly grin): If you would go out with me, it'd be... SUPREME.
Young man (red-haired): You may have three wishes. I, Mwah Becdonan, djinn of the lamp, am here to grant them, and to change them.
Panel 2:
Young man: I wouldn't do that. Becdonan is a lesson. Each one is a chance to stand up higher.
Panel 3:
Young man: Without those embarrassments and accidents, I wouldn't be the man I am today, and I'm happy to be the present. And so I should not change the past.
Panel 4:
Green genie (Becdonan): Are you fucking nuts?
Panel 5:
Green genie: What are the odds that all that is true? By that logic, you'd be better off removing the dumb stuff you did!
Panel 6:
Green genie: By changing a couple days, almost every future life path you have becomes better in some way, with end-results no less meaningful, and all without changing your personality in a significant way!
Panel 7:
Green genie: It's like you mortals have STOCKHOLM SYNDROME with your own histories. Can't change anything proud, would change something proud, around age 17 or so?
Panel 8:
Young man (looking distressed): I wish in high school, I hadn't told... everyone... at the Taco Bell drive-thru...
Votey:
Young man (with a sly grin): If you would go out with me, it'd be... SUPREME.
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. A red-haired young man stands beside a large green genie (a djinn of the lamp) emerging from a lamp against a dark red background. The man insists he won't use his wishes to change the past, because all his embarrassments and accidents made him the man he is today and he's happy with the present, so he shouldn't undo them. The exasperated green genie bursts out, "Are you fucking nuts?" and argues the odds that all of that is actually true are tiny; by his logic he'd be better off removing the dumb things he did. The genie explains that changing just a couple of days would improve almost every future life path with results no less meaningful and without significantly changing his personality. The genie accuses mortals of having "Stockholm syndrome" with their own histories, refusing to change anything embarrassing from around age 17. In the final panel the man, looking pained, begins his wish: that in high school he hadn't told everyone at the Taco Bell drive-thru something. The votey panel (a separate black-and-white sketch) shows the same young man grinning slyly, with a speech bubble completing the embarrassment: "If you would go out with me, it'd be... SUPREME" — a pun on Taco Bell's Supreme menu items.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.