2013-04-29
Original: 2013-04-29 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1 (single panel):
Bride: OH DAD, WHY ARE YOU CRYING?
Father: I... I DON'T KNOW. IT'S AS IF A MODULE OF MY BRAIN COMPLETELY INVERTED WHEN YOUR HUSBAND SAID "I DO."
Father: AND NOW I HAVE DEMANDS. OFFPUTTING PERSONAL DEMANDS.
Caption below panel:
Marriage; noun: The moment in life when parents go from discouraging you from having unprotected sex to insisting you have unprotected sex.
Votey:
A line graph. The vertical (y) axis is labeled "DESIRE FOR CHILD TO HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX." The horizontal (x) axis is labeled "CHILD'S AGE." A red line runs flat along the bottom (near zero) for most of the child's life, then jumps sharply up to a high flat level at the right end of the graph (i.e., at marriage). The point where it leaves the bottom is marked with an open circle and the point where it reaches the top is marked with a filled dot.
Bride: OH DAD, WHY ARE YOU CRYING?
Father: I... I DON'T KNOW. IT'S AS IF A MODULE OF MY BRAIN COMPLETELY INVERTED WHEN YOUR HUSBAND SAID "I DO."
Father: AND NOW I HAVE DEMANDS. OFFPUTTING PERSONAL DEMANDS.
Caption below panel:
Marriage; noun: The moment in life when parents go from discouraging you from having unprotected sex to insisting you have unprotected sex.
Votey:
A line graph. The vertical (y) axis is labeled "DESIRE FOR CHILD TO HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX." The horizontal (x) axis is labeled "CHILD'S AGE." A red line runs flat along the bottom (near zero) for most of the child's life, then jumps sharply up to a high flat level at the right end of the graph (i.e., at marriage). The point where it leaves the bottom is marked with an open circle and the point where it reaches the top is marked with a filled dot.
Alt text
A single-panel SMBC comic. At an outdoor wedding, a young woman in a white bridal gown and veil stands beside her balding, gray-haired father in a dark suit and red tie, resting a hand on him. She asks, "Oh Dad, why are you crying?" His face is contorted as he replies, "I... I don't know. It's as if a module of my brain completely inverted when your husband said 'I do.' And now I have demands. Offputting personal demands." A bold caption below reads: "Marriage; noun: The moment in life when parents go from discouraging you from having unprotected sex to insisting you have unprotected sex." Votey (aftercomic): a hand-drawn line graph. The y-axis reads "Desire for child to have unprotected sex" and the x-axis reads "Child's age." The red line stays flat at near-zero for almost the entire span of the child's life, then spikes abruptly to a high flat level at the far right end (i.e., at the moment of marriage).
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.