2013-04-17
Original: 2013-04-17 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A small spaceship floats in orbit near Earth.
First alien (off-panel, from the ship): "But the really strange thing about humans is they live for less than 100 years, yet they find time to tell jokes, write stories, do science, and build machines."
Panel 2: The ship (a pitted, asteroid-like vessel) hangs in front of Earth, with a viewport showing the green-and-blue planet.
First alien: "It's bizarre."
Second alien: "Yeah."
Panel 3: Two purple, snouted aliens face each other inside the ship.
First alien: "It's like having a gamma ray burst flying toward your head from two meters away and spending the interim wondering about the 11235th digit of the speed of light."
Panel 4: One alien gazes thoughtfully, the planet visible through the viewport behind.
First alien: "It's admirable, really. Even as their lives burn away, they find the peace to sing. I think that's what makes them special. What makes them wonderful. In their own way they will always be the happiest species."
Panel 5: Earth (showing Antarctica) hangs in space above the two aliens.
Panel 6: The two aliens face each other; the first now looks annoyed/skeptical.
Second alien: "So we're not gonna tell them we're exploding their star to make room for a galactic highway?"
First alien: "Do YOU wanna have that conversation?"
Votey:
A pink/purple alien with a speech bubble adds, after a beat:
Alien: "Also, their comics are shit."
First alien (off-panel, from the ship): "But the really strange thing about humans is they live for less than 100 years, yet they find time to tell jokes, write stories, do science, and build machines."
Panel 2: The ship (a pitted, asteroid-like vessel) hangs in front of Earth, with a viewport showing the green-and-blue planet.
First alien: "It's bizarre."
Second alien: "Yeah."
Panel 3: Two purple, snouted aliens face each other inside the ship.
First alien: "It's like having a gamma ray burst flying toward your head from two meters away and spending the interim wondering about the 11235th digit of the speed of light."
Panel 4: One alien gazes thoughtfully, the planet visible through the viewport behind.
First alien: "It's admirable, really. Even as their lives burn away, they find the peace to sing. I think that's what makes them special. What makes them wonderful. In their own way they will always be the happiest species."
Panel 5: Earth (showing Antarctica) hangs in space above the two aliens.
Panel 6: The two aliens face each other; the first now looks annoyed/skeptical.
Second alien: "So we're not gonna tell them we're exploding their star to make room for a galactic highway?"
First alien: "Do YOU wanna have that conversation?"
Votey:
A pink/purple alien with a speech bubble adds, after a beat:
Alien: "Also, their comics are shit."
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. Two purple, snouted aliens orbit Earth in a pitted, asteroid-like spaceship. One waxes poetic about humanity: though humans live less than 100 years, they still find time to tell jokes, write stories, do science, and build machines. He calls it bizarre and admirable, like having a gamma ray burst flying at your head while you ponder the 11235th digit of the speed of light. Even as their lives burn away, he says, they find the peace to sing; in their own way they'll always be the happiest species. The other alien then asks: "So we're not gonna tell them we're exploding their star to make room for a galactic highway?" The first, now looking annoyed, replies: "Do YOU wanna have that conversation?" The joke: the lofty admiration is a cover for not wanting to deliver bad news to a species they're about to destroy. Votey (bonus panel): a close-up of the pink alien adding flatly, "Also, their comics are shit."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.