2013-04-07
Original: 2013-04-07 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title: HOW INTERNET FIGHTING WORKS
Panel 1: SUPPOSE YOU HAVE TWO GROUPS.
(A green square shape and a purple circle.)
Panel 2: EACH GROUP IS SOME PERCENT CRAZY ASSHOLES.
(The green square now has a wedge bitten out of it, like a Pac-Man, with an angry face. The purple circle also has a wedge missing and an angry red triangle wedge sits beside it.)
Panel 3: BY PERCENT OF ALL TALKING, THEY LOOK LIKE THIS:
(The angry green Pac-Man shape and the angry red triangle face each other, mouths open, shouting.)
Panel 4: SO THAT WHEN YOU TALK TO THE OTHER SIDE, YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING THIS:
(The calm green square and calm purple circle.)
Green square: O?
Panel 5: BUT, THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE YOU'RE DOING THIS:
Green square: O?
Red triangle (angry): FUCK YOU!
Panel 6: AND WHEN THE OTHER SIDE WANTS TO KNOW YOUR VIEW, THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE THEY'LL GET IT LIKE THIS:
Purple circle: O?
Green Pac-Man (angry): FUCK YOU!
Panel 7: SO THAT A DISCUSSION THAT SHOULD BE LIKE THIS:
(Calm green square and calm purple circle.)
Purple circle: O?
Panel 8: ENDS UP LIKE THIS:
Green Pac-Man (angry, swearing in symbols): !@#*! !!#&!
Red triangle (angry, swearing in symbols): #$/*! #!$%@!
Panel 9: WHEN WE'D BE A LOT BETTER OFF IF WE TRIED FOR THIS:
(Calm green square and calm purple circle, with small question marks and tilde-like marks between them suggesting friendly conversation.)
Purple circle: WSH?
Votey:
A hand-drawn caption in a black-bordered box: ALSO, SOME GROUPS ARE JUST 100% ASSHOLES.
Panel 1: SUPPOSE YOU HAVE TWO GROUPS.
(A green square shape and a purple circle.)
Panel 2: EACH GROUP IS SOME PERCENT CRAZY ASSHOLES.
(The green square now has a wedge bitten out of it, like a Pac-Man, with an angry face. The purple circle also has a wedge missing and an angry red triangle wedge sits beside it.)
Panel 3: BY PERCENT OF ALL TALKING, THEY LOOK LIKE THIS:
(The angry green Pac-Man shape and the angry red triangle face each other, mouths open, shouting.)
Panel 4: SO THAT WHEN YOU TALK TO THE OTHER SIDE, YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING THIS:
(The calm green square and calm purple circle.)
Green square: O?
Panel 5: BUT, THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE YOU'RE DOING THIS:
Green square: O?
Red triangle (angry): FUCK YOU!
Panel 6: AND WHEN THE OTHER SIDE WANTS TO KNOW YOUR VIEW, THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE THEY'LL GET IT LIKE THIS:
Purple circle: O?
Green Pac-Man (angry): FUCK YOU!
Panel 7: SO THAT A DISCUSSION THAT SHOULD BE LIKE THIS:
(Calm green square and calm purple circle.)
Purple circle: O?
Panel 8: ENDS UP LIKE THIS:
Green Pac-Man (angry, swearing in symbols): !@#*! !!#&!
Red triangle (angry, swearing in symbols): #$/*! #!$%@!
Panel 9: WHEN WE'D BE A LOT BETTER OFF IF WE TRIED FOR THIS:
(Calm green square and calm purple circle, with small question marks and tilde-like marks between them suggesting friendly conversation.)
Purple circle: WSH?
Votey:
A hand-drawn caption in a black-bordered box: ALSO, SOME GROUPS ARE JUST 100% ASSHOLES.
Alt text
An SMBC comic titled "How Internet Fighting Works," illustrated with abstract shapes standing in for two groups: a green square and a purple circle. It steps through an argument. First, two groups exist (green square, purple circle). Each group is "some percent crazy assholes" — shown as the shapes with angry Pac-Man-style mouths bitten out and an angry red triangle wedge. By percent of all talking, the loud angry versions dominate and shout at each other. So when you talk to the other side you think you're being calm and asking a question ("O?"), but there's a good chance you're really being met with an angry shape yelling "FUCK YOU!" — and the same happens in reverse when they ask about your view. A discussion that should be two calm shapes politely exchanging "O?" instead ends up as two furious shapes hurling censored swear-symbols ("!@#*!", "#$/*!"). The final panel shows the calm shapes with little question marks and friendly squiggles between them, captioned that we'd be a lot better off if we tried for this civil version. Votey: a hand-lettered note in a black box reads, "ALSO, SOME GROUPS ARE JUST 100% ASSHOLES."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.