2013-03-21
Original: 2013-03-21 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Red-haired woman (excited): I call it "Conception Connection."
Panel 2:
Red-haired woman (holding a tablet): You enter your birthday, and the computer calculates your approximate date of conception.
Panel 3:
Red-haired woman: From that, it determines the historical event most likely to have led to your parents having unprotected sex.
(A blond man sits nearby looking at a tablet.)
Panel 4:
Red-haired woman: Here's mine.
Text on tablet screen: Most likely historical event that aroused your parents: First flight of the F-117 Nighthawk
Panel 5:
Red-haired woman (handing/showing tablet to the blond man): And yours is...
Panel 6:
Both look surprised/uneasy.
Blond man: Huh.
Caption bar: LATER...
Blond man (on the phone): Mom, Dad... do you have a fetish for the Declaration of Martial Law in Poland?
Final panel:
Older woman in a military officer's cap, on the phone, beside a bald older man with a tank balanced on his head and pierced/scarred nipples (he is shirtless).
Older woman (the man's mother, in the military cap): Why do you ask?
Votey:
Hand-lettered text in a box: 50 INTERNET POINTS TO WHOEVER MAKES IT!
Red-haired woman (excited): I call it "Conception Connection."
Panel 2:
Red-haired woman (holding a tablet): You enter your birthday, and the computer calculates your approximate date of conception.
Panel 3:
Red-haired woman: From that, it determines the historical event most likely to have led to your parents having unprotected sex.
(A blond man sits nearby looking at a tablet.)
Panel 4:
Red-haired woman: Here's mine.
Text on tablet screen: Most likely historical event that aroused your parents: First flight of the F-117 Nighthawk
Panel 5:
Red-haired woman (handing/showing tablet to the blond man): And yours is...
Panel 6:
Both look surprised/uneasy.
Blond man: Huh.
Caption bar: LATER...
Blond man (on the phone): Mom, Dad... do you have a fetish for the Declaration of Martial Law in Poland?
Final panel:
Older woman in a military officer's cap, on the phone, beside a bald older man with a tank balanced on his head and pierced/scarred nipples (he is shirtless).
Older woman (the man's mother, in the military cap): Why do you ask?
Votey:
Hand-lettered text in a box: 50 INTERNET POINTS TO WHOEVER MAKES IT!
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A cheerful red-haired woman shows a blond man a tablet app she calls "Conception Connection," which takes your birthday, estimates your conception date, and names the historical event most likely to have led to your parents having unprotected sex. Her result reads: "Most likely historical event that aroused your parents: First flight of the F-117 Nighthawk." She checks his result; both look unsettled and he says "Huh." A caption reads LATER. The blond man, on the phone, asks: "Mom, Dad... do you have a fetish for the Declaration of Martial Law in Poland?" The final panel shows his parents: a stern older woman in a military officer's cap holding a phone, and beside her a shirtless bald older man with scarred/pierced nipples and a toy tank balanced on his head. The mother replies, "Why do you ask?" Votey: a hand-lettered sign reading "50 INTERNET POINTS TO WHOEVER MAKES IT!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.