2013-02-28
Original: 2013-02-28 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A man in a red shirt stands watching a woman scientist in a white lab coat who is working at a drafting table.
Man: I don't get it. Why are you centrifuging koalas and dolphins until the aluminum comes out? It's the least efficient way to get it.
Panel 2:
Close on the back of the scientist as she draws a diagram on yellow paper. The man's face is visible in the foreground at left.
Scientist: When I was a girl, conservationists killed my family. Now I'm getting my revenge. And, technically I'm doing nothing illegal.
Panel 3:
A caption banner reads: ELSEWHERE.
Scene shifts to a grocery store aisle. A smiling man holds a can. A sign on the shelf reads VEGAN, and a label on a shelf reads ALL NATURAL.
Man (thought bubble): Feels good to be a part of the solution.
Panel 4:
Close-up of the can held in the man's hand. The label reads:
LENTIL SOUP
NO ANIMALS HARMED IN MAKING THE FOOD IN THIS CAN.
Votey:
Close on the scientist (with glasses) and the man, who is now drawing at the table.
Scientist: No drawing the koala centrifuge.
Man: You're no fun.
A man in a red shirt stands watching a woman scientist in a white lab coat who is working at a drafting table.
Man: I don't get it. Why are you centrifuging koalas and dolphins until the aluminum comes out? It's the least efficient way to get it.
Panel 2:
Close on the back of the scientist as she draws a diagram on yellow paper. The man's face is visible in the foreground at left.
Scientist: When I was a girl, conservationists killed my family. Now I'm getting my revenge. And, technically I'm doing nothing illegal.
Panel 3:
A caption banner reads: ELSEWHERE.
Scene shifts to a grocery store aisle. A smiling man holds a can. A sign on the shelf reads VEGAN, and a label on a shelf reads ALL NATURAL.
Man (thought bubble): Feels good to be a part of the solution.
Panel 4:
Close-up of the can held in the man's hand. The label reads:
LENTIL SOUP
NO ANIMALS HARMED IN MAKING THE FOOD IN THIS CAN.
Votey:
Close on the scientist (with glasses) and the man, who is now drawing at the table.
Scientist: No drawing the koala centrifuge.
Man: You're no fun.
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a man in a red shirt asks a woman in a white lab coat working at a drafting table, "I don't get it. Why are you centrifuging koalas and dolphins until the aluminum comes out? It's the least efficient way to get it." Panel 2: from behind, the scientist draws a diagram and replies, "When I was a girl, conservationists killed my family. Now I'm getting my revenge. And, technically I'm doing nothing illegal." Panel 3, labeled ELSEWHERE: a smiling shopper in a grocery aisle holds a can beneath a VEGAN sign and an ALL NATURAL shelf label, thinking, "Feels good to be a part of the solution." Panel 4: a close-up of the can reading "LENTIL SOUP - NO ANIMALS HARMED IN MAKING THE FOOD IN THIS CAN." The joke: the smug vegan shopper is unknowingly the very kind of person the koala-centrifuging scientist is taking revenge on, and her cruel scheme is technically legal because the can's wording about no animals harmed is loophole-thin. Votey: the scientist tells the man, who is now drawing at the table, "No drawing the koala centrifuge," and he replies, "You're no fun."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.