2012-07-08
Original: 2012-07-08 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A masked superhero in a blue cat-eared cowl and orange-and-yellow costume points at a mugger. A thin mustached man in a green tank top is grabbing the purse of an elderly woman in a purple dress and glasses.
The Iron Sociopath: STOP, EVIL-DOER! I AM THE IRON SOCIOPATH.
Panel 2: Close-up of the mugger talking to the superhero.
Mugger: SOCIOPATH? SO YOU'RE AMORAL? THEN WHY DO YOU FIGHT CRIME?
Panel 3: The superhero stabs the mugger, who screams.
Mugger: AAH!
Panel 4: The superhero, smiling, explains while continuing to attack.
The Iron Sociopath: SOCIETY SANCTIONS VIOLENCE UNDER CERTAIN CONDITIONS, BUT PUNISHES WITH IMPRISONMENT UNDER OTHERS. IF I OBEY THE LAW, I GET TO COMMIT MORE VIOLENCE.
Panel 5: The grinning superhero continues stabbing the grimacing mugger.
Mugger: AAH!
Panel 6: The rescued elderly woman thanks the superhero.
Elderly woman: THANK YOU, IRON SOCIOPATH! HOW CAN I EVER REPAY YOU?
The Iron Sociopath: DON'T FORGET TO VOTE THIS NOVEMBER.
Panel 7: The superhero hands the woman a campaign flyer.
Flyer text: RE-ELECT THE IRON SOCIOPATH TO SENATE! "ENEMIES ARE EVERYWHERE!"
Votey:
Elderly woman: WHAT'S YOUR SUPER-POWER ANYWAY?
The Iron Sociopath: KNIVES.
The Iron Sociopath: STOP, EVIL-DOER! I AM THE IRON SOCIOPATH.
Panel 2: Close-up of the mugger talking to the superhero.
Mugger: SOCIOPATH? SO YOU'RE AMORAL? THEN WHY DO YOU FIGHT CRIME?
Panel 3: The superhero stabs the mugger, who screams.
Mugger: AAH!
Panel 4: The superhero, smiling, explains while continuing to attack.
The Iron Sociopath: SOCIETY SANCTIONS VIOLENCE UNDER CERTAIN CONDITIONS, BUT PUNISHES WITH IMPRISONMENT UNDER OTHERS. IF I OBEY THE LAW, I GET TO COMMIT MORE VIOLENCE.
Panel 5: The grinning superhero continues stabbing the grimacing mugger.
Mugger: AAH!
Panel 6: The rescued elderly woman thanks the superhero.
Elderly woman: THANK YOU, IRON SOCIOPATH! HOW CAN I EVER REPAY YOU?
The Iron Sociopath: DON'T FORGET TO VOTE THIS NOVEMBER.
Panel 7: The superhero hands the woman a campaign flyer.
Flyer text: RE-ELECT THE IRON SOCIOPATH TO SENATE! "ENEMIES ARE EVERYWHERE!"
Votey:
Elderly woman: WHAT'S YOUR SUPER-POWER ANYWAY?
The Iron Sociopath: KNIVES.
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. A masked superhero in a blue cat-eared cowl, calling himself "The Iron Sociopath," confronts a mustached man stealing an elderly woman's purse, shouting "Stop, evil-doer!" The mugger asks: if the hero is a sociopath and amoral, why does he fight crime? The hero stabs him ("AAH!") and cheerfully explains that society sanctions violence under certain conditions but imprisons it under others, so by obeying the law he gets to commit MORE violence. He keeps stabbing. The grateful old woman asks how she can repay him; he says "Don't forget to vote this November" and hands her a campaign flyer reading "RE-ELECT THE IRON SOCIOPATH TO SENATE! 'Enemies are everywhere!'" Votey: in a rough black-and-white sketch, the woman asks "What's your superpower anyway?" and he replies "Knives."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.