2012-06-21
Original: 2012-06-21 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Old woman (answering phone): Hello?
Caller (American Polling Foundation): Hi, I'm with American Polling Foundation. May I ask you a few questions?
Old woman: All right.
Panel 2:
Caller: Do you believe humans evolved from simpler organisms?
Old woman: No, I do not.
Caller: Very good. And could you define natural selection for me?
Panel 3:
Old woman: I, uh... I'm not sure.
Caller: I'll mark you down as declining to answer.
Old woman: All right.
Panel 4:
Caller: Are you aware that disbelieving evolution but not knowing what natural selection means is like disbelieving gravity but not knowing what motion is?
Old woman: Umm... who is this?
Caller: It's a yes or no question, ma'am.
Panel 5:
A man in a blue shirt stands in a doorway holding a small red device (a buzzer/doorbell), looking unimpressed at the caller.
Man in doorway: Do you spend your entire weekend harassing people on the phone?
The caller is revealed: a man with flame-like red hair in a yellow shirt, talking on the phone with a tense expression.
Red-haired caller: I spend my entire weekend PUSH POLLING.
Votey:
The red-haired caller (drawn in black-and-white sketch style) holds the phone to his ear.
Caller: Good day, I'm with APF. Whom may I ask if I just used "whom" properly?
Old woman (answering phone): Hello?
Caller (American Polling Foundation): Hi, I'm with American Polling Foundation. May I ask you a few questions?
Old woman: All right.
Panel 2:
Caller: Do you believe humans evolved from simpler organisms?
Old woman: No, I do not.
Caller: Very good. And could you define natural selection for me?
Panel 3:
Old woman: I, uh... I'm not sure.
Caller: I'll mark you down as declining to answer.
Old woman: All right.
Panel 4:
Caller: Are you aware that disbelieving evolution but not knowing what natural selection means is like disbelieving gravity but not knowing what motion is?
Old woman: Umm... who is this?
Caller: It's a yes or no question, ma'am.
Panel 5:
A man in a blue shirt stands in a doorway holding a small red device (a buzzer/doorbell), looking unimpressed at the caller.
Man in doorway: Do you spend your entire weekend harassing people on the phone?
The caller is revealed: a man with flame-like red hair in a yellow shirt, talking on the phone with a tense expression.
Red-haired caller: I spend my entire weekend PUSH POLLING.
Votey:
The red-haired caller (drawn in black-and-white sketch style) holds the phone to his ear.
Caller: Good day, I'm with APF. Whom may I ask if I just used "whom" properly?
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. In the first panels, an elderly woman answers a phone call from a man identifying himself as being with the "American Polling Foundation." He asks if she believes humans evolved from simpler organisms; she says no. He says "Very good" and asks her to define natural selection, which she can't do, so he marks her as declining to answer. He then asks a long, condescending question: whether she's aware that disbelieving evolution while not knowing what natural selection means is like disbelieving gravity while not knowing what motion is. When she asks who this is, he insists "It's a yes or no question, ma'am." In the final panel, the scene shifts to the caller's location: a man in a blue shirt stands in a doorway holding a small red buzzer and asks, "Do you spend your entire weekend harassing people on the phone?" The caller, a tense man with flame-like red hair in a yellow shirt, replies, "I spend my entire weekend PUSH POLLING"—revealing the survey is a manipulative push poll, not real polling. Votey (a black-and-white aftercomic sketch): the same red-haired caller is on the phone saying, "Good day, I'm with APF. Whom may I ask if I just used 'whom' properly?"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.