2012-06-02
Original: 2012-06-02 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1
Man in suit (literary agent): We're prepared to offer double his most recent signing bonus.
Panel 2
Woman (agent/negotiator): Double? His writing is 60% of your sales for the next ten years. I could get double from my FUCKING grandma. Try again!
Panel 3
Woman: Listen. We were the only ones who would publish him in the first place! Without us he's no career. I can do this all day and your money's on the table, bub. And my crazy demand is I never break your bullshit face again!
Panel 4
Woman: You better LOVE this voice because it's coming back for two more points after this deal, or we walk.
Panel 5
Man: How about FUCK YOU. Do we have a deal or not?
Panel 6
Woman: Throw in 500 dollars from your personal account and we're done.
Panel 7
Man: Done. Done, you wretched bitch.
Panel 8
Woman (sitting across a table from the man, who is pulling cash from his wallet): Pleasure doing business with you.
(Below the panels: a light-blue hardcover book titled "A CRITIQUE OF COMMERCIALISM.")
Votey:
A bright yellow jagged starburst with the hand-lettered text: IRONY!
Man in suit (literary agent): We're prepared to offer double his most recent signing bonus.
Panel 2
Woman (agent/negotiator): Double? His writing is 60% of your sales for the next ten years. I could get double from my FUCKING grandma. Try again!
Panel 3
Woman: Listen. We were the only ones who would publish him in the first place! Without us he's no career. I can do this all day and your money's on the table, bub. And my crazy demand is I never break your bullshit face again!
Panel 4
Woman: You better LOVE this voice because it's coming back for two more points after this deal, or we walk.
Panel 5
Man: How about FUCK YOU. Do we have a deal or not?
Panel 6
Woman: Throw in 500 dollars from your personal account and we're done.
Panel 7
Man: Done. Done, you wretched bitch.
Panel 8
Woman (sitting across a table from the man, who is pulling cash from his wallet): Pleasure doing business with you.
(Below the panels: a light-blue hardcover book titled "A CRITIQUE OF COMMERCIALISM.")
Votey:
A bright yellow jagged starburst with the hand-lettered text: IRONY!
Alt text
A multi-panel comic depicting an aggressive, foul-mouthed publishing negotiation. A male literary agent in a suit and a female negotiator trade hostile lines: he offers to double an author's signing bonus; she scoffs that his writing is 60% of their sales and she could get double from her grandma, demanding more money plus 500 dollars from his personal account, insulting him throughout ("wretched bitch," "fuck you," "bullshit face"). They finally close the deal, the man pulling cash from his wallet as she says "Pleasure doing business with you." Below the panels sits a light-blue hardcover book titled "A CRITIQUE OF COMMERCIALISM" — the punchline being that this crass, money-grubbing negotiation is what produced (or sold) an anti-commercialism book. The votey (aftercomic) is a yellow comic-style starburst containing a single hand-lettered word: "IRONY!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.